Songs Like This
by AQotL
Summary: When Abby takes the NCIS team to a karaoke bar, everyone unintentionally begins to parody the songs they sing. Also unintentionally, they end up bringing everyone else into the madness. To put it quite simply, hilarity ensues. R&R.
1. Girls Just Want to Have Fun

**Hello Readers!**

**This is my first published attempt at an NCIS fic, so we're going to see how I do. **

**Anyways, just a few months ago I randomly started thinking up some NCIS-style parodies of songs for reasons unknown. The idea was bouncing around in my head so much that by the end of a single day, I had two mostly complete parodies. When I started to think of some more, I thought, "Hey! Might as well put these into a fanfic!"**

**So there you have it. This is a collection of song parodies that takes place in late Season 5 (post-"Internal Affairs", but Jenny's still around and Vance has been introduced). There is a basic story, too – the NCIS gang is at a karaoke bar, and unintentionally begins to parody the songs they sing. **

**I apologize for any OOC-ness. I'm trying to make this humorous, and it's possible that some of the characters may slightly stray away from their normal behavior.**

**Here's the first part of the story, and I hope you enjoy it!**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing except for the parody of the song. I do not own any lines from the original song that are contained in the parody. NCIS and the song I parody do not belong to me. **

**Girls Just Want to Have Fun**

"Please remind me why we are here."

"Ziva! It's a Friday night! We're here to par-tay!" Abby cried, pulling her friend through the throng of people that filled the darkened bar.

"Abs, I have paperwork to get back to…" McGee started in response to the excited Goth's exclamation, but was promptly smacked on the back of the head as his fellow agent entered the bar.

"Come on, McFun-Sucker, you heard the lady," Tony told his friend eagerly. "It's Friday. We've got the night off. Time to celebrate – you know, TGIF?" He paused to ponder his final statement, and soon picked up again with a chuckle. "Although, around here, 'TGIF' means 'Thank Gibbs It's Friday'."

"Oh, you better be thanking me, DiNozzo," a voice boomed, causing the quartet to turn towards the door just as their fearless leader strolled in, flanked by Ducky (with Palmer following close behind) and Director Shepard. The group greeted the director (McGee, Ziva, and Tony with a short, "Director"; Abby with a, "Heya, Director Shepard," and – with Jenny's permission – a quick hug) and took their seats in a large booth near the back of the bar. After they put in their drink orders, Palmer got the conversation going again.

"Abby, why are we… _all_… here?" he asked, uneasily glancing at Gibbs and Jenny.

"I'd heard about this new club, and I just wanted to bring the whole gang along to try it out," she chirped. "You, me, Timmy, Tony, Ziva, Duckman, Gibbs, and the Director." Facing the rest of the party, she queried gleefully, "Don't you guys just love it here?"

Before any of the others could answer, a loud, screeching shriek pierced the air. The noise wavered occasionally, but remained a shrill, incessant trill. The group covered their ears in pain at the sound (Ziva also had one hand hovering over her knife, just in case), as well as many other bar goers. Once the noise finally ceased, Gibbs was the first to recover.

"What the hell was that?" he roared, bursting out of his seat. As his eyes scanned the room for the source of the disturbance, they soon landed on a sheepish-looking young man wielding a wireless microphone. A petite brunette woman Gibbs assumed to be the man's girlfriend violently shook her head and – covering her face with her hand in embarrassment – hastily pulled her boyfriend off the lit platform in the middle of the bar.

Abby gasped in excitement after witnessing this display. "They have a karaoke machine!" she squealed, eagerly clapping her hands together. Suddenly, she grabbed hold of Ziva and Jenny's wrists and yanked them out of the booth, crying, "Come on, let's do it!" The remainder of the party migrated away from their table as the forensic scientist shoved a Mossad assassin and the director of NCIS onto the center platform before scurrying over to the DJ to whisper something in his ear. With a brief nod, he placed a CD in the karaoke machine and pressed play. The opening notes of a Cyndi Lauper classic echoed through the room, and Ziva – microphone in hand – was led into the spotlight by Abby to start off the song. Swaying to the music for a moment, Ziva lifted the microphone and began to sing:

_I head home in the middle of the night_

_My partner asks, "What'cha gonna do there tonight?"_

_Oh, Tony, dear, I am not a fortunate one_

_And girls, they want to have fun_

_Oh, girls just want to have fun_

"What is she doing?" McGee asked Tony. "None of the words are right!"

Overhearing the conversation between her coworkers, Ziva answered, "I am changing the lyrics so they fit better. I am doing what you call a… I do not know, but I believe it has something to do with a parrot, yes?"

"A parody!" Abby shrieked. "Great idea, Ziva!" At that, she took the microphone and sang her portion of the song:

_The doors ding when the time is right_

_My 'father' yells, "What'cha got, our timing is tight"_

_Oh, Daddy Gibbs, you're not a patient one_

_And girls, they want to have fun_

_Oh, girls just want to have fun_

After Abby's part, she and Ziva began the chorus:

_That's all they really want_

_Some fun_

_When the latest case is done_

_Girls, they want to have fun_

_Oh, girls just want to have fun_

Jenny then took the microphone from the two singing women and launched into her solo:

_Some men take a beautiful girl_

_And keep her from seeing the rest of the world_

_I want to be the one to holster a gun_

_And girls, they want to have fun_

_Oh, girls just want to have fun_

"All together now!" Abby shouted, and the three women sang the chorus once more:

_That's all they really want_

_Some fun_

_When the latest case is done_

_Girls, they want to have fun_

_Oh, girls just want to have fun_

As the final notes of the song faded out, Abby, Jenny, and Ziva faced the crowd of cheering people. Palmer and Tony let out loud, simultaneous whistles, and even Gibbs was grinning at his girls' performance. Beaming at the group, the three women stepped off the stage and back onto the main floor.

"And now, the winner of 'Mossad Idol' is… Crazy Ninja Chick Ziva David!" Tony crowed, followed by McGee's cry of, "Wow, Abs, that was great!" and Gibbs's satisfied murmur of, "Not bad, Director." These congratulatory sayings came to a halt when the men noticed the mischievous looks on the faces of their respective women.

"All right, boys," Jenny said, a sly smile tugging at her lips. "Now it's your turn."

**Yes, the next parody is going to be sung by Tony, McGee, and Gibbs! It will be up tomorrow, as I already have it written.**

**This fic will not normally be updated on a regular basis, as it takes me a while to actually figure out the words to the parody, and **_**then**_** type the story. The third chapter has only one line parodied so far, but following parodies have a good chunk already completed. Hopefully, there won't be too much of a long wait between chapters!**

**Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoyed the first chapter!**

**Reviews make my day!**

**AQotL**


	2. Short Skirt Long Lab Coat

**Hello again, readers!**

**First off, I just want to give a huge thank you to those who reviewed, alerted, and favorited this story. It really means a lot to me.**

**In return for these reviews/alerts/favorites, here's Chapter 2! Now, it's time for the guys to sing!**

**The song this parody is based on is probably not as well known as the previous song. If you don't know it, you might want to listen to it (you can probably find it on YouTube). Some of you might recognize the instrumental part, as it serves as the theme song for the AWESOME show ****Chuck****. **

**Once again, I apologize for any OOC-ness. Since this is a parody, there are going to be some OOC actions (such as Gibbs singing karaoke), but they're there to enhance the humor. **

**Anyways, I hope you enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing except for the parody of the song. I do not own any lines from the original song that are contained in the parody. NCIS and the song I parody do not belong to me. I do not own the movies that are mentioned in this chapter either.**

**Original Song: "Short Skirt/Long Jacket" by Cake**

**Short Skirt/Long Lab Coat**

"Abs, do I really have to do this?" McGee asked nervously, stealing a quick glance over his shoulder. From the time the group had arrived, the bar had rapidly filled with people. Though many were simply anonymous patrons, a significant number of federal employees had come in. So far, the computer geek had seen Agent Lee (who had snuck off to a secluded section of the bar with Palmer shortly after she arrived to do God-knows-what), Cynthia (who looked slightly uncomfortable seeing the director outside of the agency), Vance, and even Gus, the janitor. Oh, yes, and then there was Fornell and his FBI crew, probably there to laugh as the NCIS men made complete fools of themselves.

"Come on, Timmy, it'll be fun," Abby said, trying to coax him into performing.

"Yeah, come on McVon Trapp," Tony chimed in. "Time to get your 'Sound of Music' on."

"But… but… I don't sing!" McGee stammered, trying to knock some sense into his coworkers.

"Please, Timmy?" Abby pleaded, taking his hand. "Do it for me."

At that, McGee snapped up as if a hard Gibbs-slap had landed on the back of his head. Turning to Tony and Gibbs (who was obviously not amused by the idea of singing karaoke), he shouted somewhat overenthusiastically, "Let's do this thing!"

As the three men made their way to the center stage, the crowd began to chant and clap in anticipation. Gibbs and Tony paused upon the realization that they had not decided on a song, but McGee was already taking care of it. When the DJ placed the CD in the machine, Tony threw his hands in the air.

"Probie, care to tell us what song you chose?" he hissed at McGee as they filed onstage. In response, the geek smirked slyly. "Watch me for the changes. Try to keep up." He then grabbed the microphone and chuckled to himself as he heard Tony's cry of, "Hey, that's from 'Back to the Future'!" As the music started, McGee stepped into the spotlight and began his own parody:

_I want a girl with a mind like her mass spec_

_I want a girl who knows those molds_

_I want a girl with boots that clunk_

_And eyes that shine like emeralds_

_I want a girl who provides inspiration_

_Who is fast, thorough, and sharp as a tack_

_She's playing with her jewelry; she's putting up her hair_

_Her Caf-Pow gives stability, and she likes wearing black_

_I want a girl with a short skirt and a long… lab coat_

Starting to get the idea of the song, Tony picked up with his portion:

_I want a girl who gets up early (gets up early!)_

_I want a girl who stays up late (stays up late!)_

_I want a girl who's a crazy Israeli ninja_

_Who uses a machete to stalk me on dates_

_With paperclips that shine with malice_

_And a short temper for our idioms_

_She is fast, thorough, and sharp as a tack_

_She is waiting in the elevator while planning an attack_

McGee butted back in once more:

_I want a girl with a short skirt and a long… long… lab coat!_

Gibbs grudgingly took the microphone for his part:

_I want a girl who's a redheaded babe (red-headed babe!)_

Palmer (whose clothes looked a little bit more disheveled than before) hopped up on stage and sang:

_I want a girl who's named Agent Lee!_

Gibbs shot him a narrow-eyed glare and continued to sing:

_Up in MTAC we will meet accidentally (meet accidentally!)_

_We'll start to talk when she steals my coffee_

_She wants a car with a Navy chauffeur_

_She wants a car that'll get her there_

_She's changing her name from "Jenny" to "Jen"_

_She was chasing La Grenouille until he died some months ago_

For the third time, McGee burst in with:

_I want a girl with a short skirt and a long… lab coat!_

Once again, the bar exploded with cheers and applause, especially from those representing NCIS. Agent Lee was already showing her appreciation for Palmer's one line by pulling him once more into the back of the club for some privacy. Fornell also clapped a bit for his friend, while Agent Sacks stared daggers at Tony.

And then there was Abby, Ziva, and Jenny. The three women showed their own appreciation for their respective men in different ways – Abby hugged McGee, Jenny smiled as she greeted Gibbs with a, "Jethro," and Ziva returned Tony's smirk before saying, "A machete? Thank you for the suggestion!"

As Tony's face fell upon this statement, he was unable to see the infuriated brunette doctor at the counter finish her glass of tequila, slam it down in front of her, and – her eyes burning maliciously – grab the DJ by his collar as she hissed in his ear. She then released her hold on his shirt and mounted the stage, microphone in hand. Yes, it was time for Jeanne Benoit to get her revenge on one (Very) Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo.

**Yep, you read that right – it's Jeanne's turn to sing!**

**I know the song I'm using for the next chapter, but there is only one line parodied so far. Because of this, it's going to be a while until I post the next chapter, but updates should come more often after the third chapter. **

**Thanks for reading, and I hope you enjoyed the second chapter!**

**Reviews make my day!**

**AQotL**


	3. Agent Casanova

**Hello again, readers!**

**I said this chapter would be up sometime this weekend, and I kept my promise. It was hard to do so – as the parody gave me a bit of trouble – but I managed.**

**Anyways, here's Chapter 3 – Jeanne's song! I've had the general idea for this parody ever since I thought of the idea for a fanfic collection of parodies. This wasn't exactly my favorite parody so far, but I still like it. It was supposed to be more of a "Jeanne-bashes-Tony" kind of parody, but it ended up being one where you might feel a bit sympathetic for Jeanne. Either way, there are still a few funny parts in there. **

**NOTE: I realized I should clarify the time period a little bit more when I started working with this parody – although this takes place in season 5, season 5 will be taking place in the current year for this fic. This way, I won't have to worry about whether or not something (such as a certain song) existed in the year season 5 originally aired. Hope that clarifies a few things.**

**Dedication: This chapter is dedicated to my amazing friend McAbbyTivaX3 as an early birthday gift. She's a fan of the song this parody is based off of, and I thought I'd give her a little dedication. **

**Disclaimer: ****I own nothing except for the parody of the song. I do not own any lines from the original song that are contained in the parody. NCIS and the song I parody do not belong to me. I do not own the movie/TV quotes that are spoken in this chapter either.**

**Original song: "Cowboy Casanova" by Carrie Underwood**

**Agent Casanova**

[cue the Mark Harmon voiceover]

_Previously on __Songs Like This__…_

_As Tony's face fell upon this statement, he was unable to see the infuriated brunette doctor at the counter finish her glass of tequila, slam it down in front of her, and – her eyes burning maliciously – grab the DJ by his collar as she hissed in his ear. She then released her hold on his shirt and mounted the stage, microphone in hand. Yes, it was time for Jeanne Benoit to get her revenge on one (Very) Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo._

"Danger, danger!"

That was the only thing running through Tony's head as he watched the woman he had romanced up until a few months before as part of an undercover op take the stage. With every step she took, he could have sworn the floor shook in response. Oh yes, Jeanne-zilla was loose and about to destroy his happy little paradise of DiNozzoland.

"Tony, isn't that…" McGee started, but was cut off by the screeching feedback of the microphone Jeanne gripped with an iron fist. The rest of the patrons let out small cries of pain and covered their ears, but the brunette doctor seemed unfazed. Maybe that was due to the fact that she was busy boring holes into the skull of her ex-boyfriend.

Once the squealing noise had ceased and everyone else had recovered, Jeanne (still glaring at Tony) roughly raised the microphone and addressed the crowd.

"This goes out to the man who broke my heart – you know who you are," she said, visibly seething.

As the rest of the audience had their attention drawn towards Jeanne, McGee turned to Tony. "I think she's talking about you."

The senior agent forced a weak laugh as he waved off the younger man's statement. "Oh, come on, she's dated other guys before me."

"But she is staring straight at you," Ziva retorted, eyeing the doctor suspiciously as she spoke.

"Hm," Tony muttered in response, but as Jeanne shouted, "This is for you!" and the music started, he found himself murmuring the phrase spoken by many Star Wars characters:

"I've got a bad feeling about this…"

Jeanne smiled to herself as she saw Tony's cocky expression morph into one of sheer terror as music filled the room. Satisfied, she began to sing:

_You better take it from me_

_Tony is like a disease_

Back in the crowd, Ziva and McGee faced Tony, wearing identical expressions that said, "You want to try to deny that she is singing about you?" In response, Tony cried, "I'm probably not the only one she's dated with that name!" Shaking their heads, his coworkers returned their attention back to Jeanne's song:

_You don't want to pry but you find out he lied_

_And you're wondering how you didn't see_

Poking his head around Ziva, McGee paused for a second before informing Tony, "No, she's definitely talking about you." The movie-loving agent had no comeback, and admitted defeat.

Smirking to herself at this spectacle, Jeanne continued:

_He's like a curse; he's just so smug_

_And yet you're wanting just a hug_

_You want to forget 'cause you really regret_

_That you ever got into this mess_

_He's a, a good time agent Casanova_

_Leanin' up against the flat-screen TV_

_He says he's a cool film professor_

_But that's not his real identity_

_He's an agent in disguise, a teller of lies_

_And he says it's not done in spite_

_Gives you feelings that you don't want to fight_

_You better run for your life_

Visibly enjoying themselves, McGee and Ziva winced comically at Tony as if to say, "Ooh, burn." Tony, however, was opening and closing his mouth like a very confused fish, but said nothing in response. Seeing her ex-boyfriend's expression, Jeanne sang:

_I see that look on your face_

_You hate to hear what I say_

_But I'll say it again 'cause you don't know where I've been_

_From beginning to end and even today _

Confused exclamations could be heard throughout the bar, and the brunette's eyes landed on a group of women glancing over at Tony in curiosity. As if he could feel their stares, the agent turned around and flashed them one of his "DiNozzo charm smiles," causing the girls to giggle bashfully. Fire burning in her eyes, Jeanne addressed the petite gaggle of women with the next part of the song:

_Don't even look in his eyes_

_They'll tell you nothing but lies_

_And you want to believe 'cause you're just so naïve_

_But that girl from Tel Aviv really opens your eyes_

With that last line, the girls' grins vanished as they looked back in Tony's direction. Their eyes locked on Ziva, who promptly moved a few feet away from her partner with a look that asked, "What did I do wrong?" Laughing to herself, Jeanne returned to the chorus:

_He's a, a good time agent Casanova_

_Leanin' up against the flat-screen TV_

_He says he's a cool film professor_

_But that's not his real identity_

_He's an agent in disguise, a teller of lies_

_And he says it's not done in spite_

_Gives you feelings that you don't want to fight_

_You better run for your life_

As she caught sight of the women still staring daggers at Tony, the doctor sang another warning to them before repeating the chorus:

_Run run away, don't let him mess with your mind_

_He'll lie to you for an entire year_

_He'll break your heart, it's just a matter of time_

_But just remember_

_He's a, a good time agent Casanova_

_Leanin' up against the flat-screen TV_

_He says he's a cool film professor_

_But that's not his real identity_

_He's an agent in disguise, a teller of lies_

_And he says it's not done in spite_

_Gives you feelings that you don't want to fight_

_You better run for your life_

The song ended, and the club erupted with loud applause, mainly from female patrons. Grinning in triumph, Jeanne dismounted the stage to return to her place at the counter, shooting a smug smile at Tony as she passed. In response, Tony placed his head in his hands and uttered a single sentence:

"Well, there go my chances of ever getting a date again."

**Well, that was fun. I hope you enjoyed the chapter!**

**The next three songs are parodied, so the next chapter will be written and posted in the next few days – possibly tomorrow! Keep your eyes open for it!**

**Reviews make my day! Please, tell me one of your favorite parts of this chapter, be it a line in the parody that you thought was funny or just a scene between the parody lyrics. Either way, I'd like to hear how you guys are enjoying the story!**

**AQotL**


	4. Backwards

**Hello again, readers!**

**First off, I just want to say thank you again to all of my amazing reviewers, as well as those of you who put this story on your favorite story/story alert lists. I really appreciate everything, and it makes my day to see all these reviews/favorites/alerts.**

**Well, here's Chapter 4! (Wow, we're already that far into this?) This parody is set up a little bit differently than the rest, since the singer alternates almost every line. And as for the performance itself, well, let's just say it's a bit more… madcap than the previous ones. Anyways, I hope you enjoy it!**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing except for the parody of the song. I do not own any lines from the original song that are contained in the parody. NCIS and the song I parody do not belong to me.**

**Original Song: "Backwards" by Rascal Flatts**

**Backwards**

"What? What do you mean my car still isn't ready?"

It had been about an hour since Jeanne had humiliated him in front of a bar full of women, and Tony's misfortune was still affecting him. As if it wasn't bad enough that he was surrounded by new members of the "I Hate Tony" club, his other love was essentially an auto shop hostage. For a Mustang that only needed its brakes replaced, four days was an unreasonable amount of time to be at a repair shop.

Snapping his phone shut, the agent took a swig of his drink before placing it back on the table. He placed his head in his hands, but looked up once again when he felt the eyes of a certain Israeli ninja staring curiously at him.

"What is wrong, Tony?" Ziva asked, tapping her fingers against her glass of tequila. "You seem to be down in the garbage."

His chin resting on the edge of the table, Tony sighed," Dumps, Zee-vah. It's 'down in the dumps'." Taking another swig, he continued. "Four days for new brakes. Four days! Do you have any idea how much that's going to cost me?"

"Speak for yourself, Tony," McGee called from across the table. "I had to take Jethro to the vet's yesterday. He only got two teeth removed, and yet it cost me about $1000. And right when we get home, he decides to thank me by puking on the carpet as soon as he walks in. Even after a day, he's still kind of out of it."

"Well, McDog Whisperer, at least your problem's pretty much solved," Tony said bitterly as he launched back into his self-pity fest. "I, however, am dateless and car less for an undetermined amount of time. Oh, and I'm Bondless, since an old buddy of mine borrowed my entire collection of Bond films." With a sigh, he grabbed his drink again. "I just want my stuff back!" he cried.

"I just want to be at the cantina down in Mexico," a gruff voice rasped, and the three agents turned towards Mike Franks, holding a three-fourths empty beer bottle.

Poking his head around Ziva, Tony narrowed his eyes. "Why are you even here, Franks?"

Mike let out a short laugh as he reached for his beer. "Had to get out of Mexico for a little while. But spending just a few days here makes me miss it." With a shrug, he downed the remaining fourth of his beer. The rest of the group did the same with their drinks, and all signs of conversation died once more.

After a few minutes, Tony perked his head up as if he'd had an epiphany. "You know, we all seem to be after things we had before," he announced to the rest. "I mean, I want my car and James Bond movies, McGeek just wants his dog to stop puking on his stuff" (this elicited a glare from McGee) "Franks is wishing he's back in Mexico, and Boss is still lusting after our red-headed lady director." At that last comment, Gibbs – who had been half-hidden by Mike – swiftly slapped Tony on the back of the head, causing the movie-loving agent to sputter, "Sorry, Boss."

Rubbing the back of his head, Tony continued, "Now, if life only had a rewind button of sorts. That way, we could just go backwards and never have to deal with any of these problems."

Eavesdropping from the table next to the NCIS agents', FBI agent Sacks muttered to himself, "I'd love to go back and prevent myself from ever coming to this karaoke night." Unfortunately for Sacks, Tony heard the word 'karaoke,' and – with the rest of the NCIS employees in tow – took off for center stage. Seeing the group barreling towards him, the DJ sighed and reached for his collection of CDs just as Tony screeched to a halt in front of him. There was a small discussion, and the DJ pulled out a CD before motioning to two burly bar employees, who then picked up a few barstools and placed them on the stage.

Finally, everything was prepared for the next bout of karaoke. Tony took a seat upon a barstool and pulled Gibbs onto the one next to him before motioning to the DJ. A moment later, music filled the room, and Tony began to sing:

_I was sittin' on a barstool_

_At a brand-new club here in DC_

_When this old boss walked in_

(Gibbs glared at Tony at this statement)

_And he sat right down next to me_

_I could tell he'd been through some hard times_

_There was bourbon on his old shirt_

(The silver-haired headslapper looked down to see that indeed, he did have a large liquid stain on his shirt)

_And he said,_

Gibbs grudgingly took over:

"_Ya wanna know what ya get when you_

_Sing this hinky song backwards?"_

There was a pause before Vance, of all people, started the chorus:

_Ya get your house back_

McGee took the next part:

_Ya get your dog back_

Fornell, with Sacks sitting next to him, sang:

_Ya get your best friend Sacks back_

Tony grabbed hold of the microphone once more:

_Ya get your Bonds back_

Mike, staring sadly at his empty beer bottle, muttered:

_Ya get your beer back_

Gibbs rubbed his ring finger as he sang:

_Ya get your first and second wives back_

Sacks, terrified to be part of this insanity, moaned:

_Your sanity_

Armed with a case file, Fornell belted out:

_A suspect's guilty plea_

Ducky, having taken the stage for the first time, pointed to himself and sang:

_This old ME_

Palmer (now sporting lipstick marks on his cheeks) cried giddily:

_And that Agent Lee!_

Reclining in his seat with his eyes closed, Mike murmured:

_You get your dream_

Tossing his arms around his coworkers, McGee gleefully crooned:

_And the team_

Gibbs waved a pad of sandpaper as he said:

_And the boat_

Tony took the microphone back again to finish up the chorus:

_And the pizza_

_First time riding with Ziva_

_It sounds a little crazy,_

_A little scattered and absurd_

He then raised the microphone so the entire group could shout:

_But that's what you get when you_

_Sing this hinky song backwards!_

The movie lover started off the next verse with another solo:

_Well, I never heard it said quite like that_

_It hit me on the head_

(Gibbs promptly headslapped Tony to demonstrate)

'_Cause that's where we're at_

_I almost fell flat out on the floor_

_He said,_

The coffee-loving sniper took the dialogue clip again:

"_Wait a minute, that's not all,_

_There's even more"_

Tapping his temple, Sacks sang:

_Ya get your mind back_

Gibbs grabbed the microphone again:

_Your gut back_

Scavenging in his pockets and coming up fruitless, Vance whimpered:

_Your precious toothpicks back_

Tony fantasized about his car as he muttered dreamily:

_You get your ride back_

Narrowing her eyes, Ziva yanked her weapon of choice out of Tony's hand as she hissed:

_Get your knife back_

McGee thought about his first computer as he chuckled:

_You get your first real love back_

Hopping off his barstool, Tony cried:

_You get your big screen TV,_

_A DVD_

Jenny gazed up at Gibbs as she sang:

_And your favorite Marine_

Abby pranced around as she began the next list:

_You get your lab_

McGee joined Abby's dancing and said:

_And your Abs_

Fornell slammed his case file on the table and growled:

_And the perp_

A wistful look passed over Gibbs's face as he murmured:

_And your daughter_

Grinning in revenge, Tony pointed to Jeanne as he continued:

_You get to go back where you don't know her_

(The doctor seethed, squeezing her tequila glass so hard that her knuckles turned white)

The senior field agent repeated:

_It sounds a little crazy,_

_A little scattered and absurd_

Once again, the large gaggle of federal employees sang:

_But that's what you get when you_

_Sing this hinky song backwards!_

The song jumped into a short instrumental section, and the performers danced to the frenetic music. Abby and McGee spun in circles, Ziva and Tony were doing a frenzied salsa, and Fornell even did a little jig.

At last, the next part of the song began, and the group cried:

_We sat there and thought about_

_Just how it would be_

Fornell broke off for a short solo:

_If we could turn the car around_

_And head to_

Sacks bitterly spat out each letter:

_N-C-I-S_

There was a short pause before the first chorus started again:

_Ya get your house back,_

_Ya get your dog back,_

_Ya get your best friend Sacks back_

_Ya get your Bonds back_

_Ya get your beer back_

_Ya get your first and second wives back_

_Your sanity,_

_A suspect's guilty plea,_

_This old ME,_

_And that Agent Lee!_

_You get your dream,_

_And the team,_

_And the boat,_

_And the pizza_

_First time riding with Ziva_

Then the second chorus:

_Ya get your mind back,_

_Your gut back,_

_Your precious toothpicks back_

_You get your ride back,_

_Get your knife back,_

_You get your first real love back_

_You get your big screen TV, a DVD,_

_And your favorite Marine_

_You get the lab,_

_And your Abs, _

_And the perp,_

_And your daughter_

_You get to go back where you don't know her_

Tony took his solo part once more:

_It sounds a little crazy,_

_A little scattered and absurd_

Gradually slowing down, the final line was sung:

_But that's what you get when you_

_Sing this hinky song backwards_

Once again, excited cheers filled the bar, and Team Gibbs (as well as Fornell, Mike, and Sacks) bowed to the crowd. This only made the screams grow louder.

The group gradually made their way back to their tables (or, in Palmer's case, back to the corner of the bar where his girlfriend was waiting to pick up where they had left off), occasionally grinning at their fellow patrons. Out of all the agents who had performed, it was Tony who was receiving the most attention.

"It looks like your luck has changed, Tony," Ziva told her partner, who was being swarmed by the compliments of many gorgeous women. His eyes widening in awe at this miraculous situation, Tony had but one thought:

"They love me again!"

**Yep, it's another Tony line ending the chapter! It seemed like everyone loved that line, so I tried to create a follow-up.**

**Oh, and a little fun fact: McGee's story about Jethro's vet visit is based on a true story. My dog had to get two teeth removed last summer, and, well, let's just say she acted somewhat similar to Jethro after the surgery.**

**The next chapter's song is parodied, and I hope to start writing the chapter soon. Expect it this weekend or early next week!**

**Reviews, as always, make my day! Please tell me some of your favorite parts!**

**AQotL**


	5. Crime Solving Writer

**Hello again, readers!**

**Okay, I'm getting this out later than I planned, but I have a few good excuses. Call them prior engagements, new obsessions, and "creative stifling". That last one, as many of you may know, is McGee's way of saying "writer's block". **

**Speaking of the resident computer geek, this entire chapter is all about his side job. This chapter also contains two minor OCs in the form of McGee's crazy fangirls. Yes, you read that right: McGee's crazy fangirls.**

**Also in this chapter, there are some small references to episodes involving McGee's career as Thom E. Gemcity, as well as some hints of McAbby and Tiva for fun. **

**Well, sorry for the wait, and I hope you enjoy this installment of "Songs Like This"!**

**EDITING NOTE: From now on, when there is a scene change, the words **NCIS NCIS **will appear. **

**Disclaimer: I own nothing except for the parody of the song. I do not own any lines from the original song that are contained in the parody. NCIS and the song I parody do not belong to me.**

**Update: The first time I posted this, I forgot to add the title of the original song [Gibbs-slaps self] Anyways, here it is:**

**Original Song: "Paperback Writer" by the Beatles**

**Crime-Solving Writer**

"Oh my God, is that…?"

"Hm… I think it is."

"Ooh, he looks so much hotter in person!"

"Yes, this photo definitely does not do him justice."

This summarized the extent of a conversation between two young women – hidden away in a booth at the back of the bar – as they peered around their seats, spying on a certain male that sat across the room. The first girl, an athletic-looking redhead, opened her eyes wide as she watched the man in question speak to the dark-haired woman on his right. The nosy observer's jaw dropped at the sight of this other woman.

"Look at that girl over there," she hissed at her friend, whose blonde hair was dangling over the open book in front of her. "Doesn't she seem a little bit too familiar to you?"

Lifting her bespectacled eyes up from her book, the second woman nonchalantly glanced at the Goth her companion was pointing at with a pink manicured nail. "Well, I suppose she does look a bit like Amy," the blonde murmured, squinting through her thumbprint-covered lenses. "But then again, we're talking about a famous writer here. She's probably just an actress hired to portray a fictional character in order to create some buzz for the next book." At that, her attention dropped back down to her copy of Rock Hollow by one Thom E. Gemcity.

The flame-haired young woman rolled her eyes at her friend's comment, yet remained fixated on the table across the bar. As she watched the movements of each of its patrons, her eyebrows quickly rose in disbelief. Turning back to the blonde, she asked, "Well, then how do you explain the guy who looks like Tommy?"

If her companion had looked up, she would have seen a dapper-looking man flirting with every estrogen-producing humanoid in the vicinity. Alas, she did not, and without a beat she replied, "Actor."

Irked, the first woman slouched in her seat. However, her sulking did not push away her curiosity towards the table of literary look-alikes, so a minute later she shot out of her seat and – tugging her otherwise preoccupied friend along – said, "Come on, let's go over and talk to them."

NCIS NCIS

Of course, Tony was the first member of Team Gibbs to notice the two females sauntering towards them, and his mind immediately went into overdrive as it conjured one fantasy after another.

"Hey, Boss, I didn't know you were supposed to meet someone here," he said to Gibbs as he eyed the leggy redhead. "She even brought a friend!"

Gibbs's response to these statements: * _slap _*

Muttering the appropriate apologies under his breath, the senior field agent rubbed the back of his head a few times before looking up to see the first woman standing to his right. He took her current state of distraction as a chance to wipe the saliva from the corners of his mouth before he drooled all over her hot pink heels.

Once he was sure he was as good-looking as he thought, Tony turned towards the mystery girl with another one of his "charm smiles." However, the grin evaporated when he noticed that she, too, was focused on someone. The worst part of it, in Tony's opinion, was the fact that her object of interest was McGee.

"So," she began, her voice taking on a slightly seductive tone, "you're Thom E. Gemcity." In reaction to her words, Ziva choked on her drink, Tony smothered a laugh, Abby tightened her grip on the edge of the table, and Gibbs groaned, "Not that damn book again," into his glass of bourbon.

McGee, resembling a deer caught in headlights, shook off his obviously terrified look to reply, "Ah, yes, that's me."

A coy smile played on the cherry-red lips of the visitor as she stuck out a manicured hand for the geek to shake. "I'm Ivy. Ivy Leonard." With an irritated look, she motioned over her shoulder towards her blonde companion, who was completely engrossed in her book. "And that girl over there, that's my friend…"

"Carina," the eyewear-sporting female finished. "Carina Riley." She shuffled towards the rest of the group and shook McGee's hand without glancing up from her book.

An awkward silence fell over the table once the two newcomers had introduced themselves, until Tony burst out with, "Hey, Probie, when were you going to introduce the rest of us?" He leaned over to land a swift slap on the back of the computer genius's head, then used the same hand to shake Ivy's. "Anthony DiNozzo, but you can call me Tony," he said, the "charm smile" back on his face.

"Hi," the redhead responded warily, pulling away as quickly as she could.

His pride slightly crushed, Tony continued his introductions. "Well, this is, uh, Jenny," (the older redhead narrowed her eyes at the usage of her first name, but then shrugged it off), "Ducky," ("A pleasure to meet you," was the ME's response), "Gibbs," (a grunt was the sniper's greeting), "and Ziva," (the ninja played with her knife under the table, eyeing Ivy like her prey).

"She can kill you eighteen different ways with a paperclip," someone piped up from across the table. Tensing up, Ivy (and, finally, Carina) looked up to see the Goth faking a cheerful smile. "Hi. Abby Scuito, forensic scientist. I'm the one who handles the evidence."

Taking a few steps back, Ivy felt a nervous smile bloom on her face as she gave Abby two thumbs up. "Okay, great to know," she squeaked, utterly terrified. Quickly, she turned to the final member of the NCIS team, who had just slipped into his seat after another rendezvous with his girlfriend. "And you are…?"

The Autopsy Gremlin's head jerked up, and he fixed his skewed glasses before responding, "Ah, Jimmy. Jimmy Palmer." As he leaned over to shake Ivy and Carina's hands, he blurted, "And for the record, my relationships with corpses are purely scientific!"

McGee's hand rushed to meet his forehead as he moaned, "Jimmy, we've talked about this before…"

The assistant ME cut back in. "But you named him Pimmy Jalmer!"

As the two geeks engaged in a brief argument over the difference between fact and fiction, Ivy decided to feed her "Gemcity appetite." Turning to Tony, she asked, "So, what else can you tell me about Thom?"

The movie buff decided to have a little fun on his coworker's behalf and replied, "Well, he has a lot of nicknames."

Propping her elbow on the table, the redheaded visitor furrowed her eyebrows. "Like what?"

A wicked grin spread across Tony's face as he rattled off a bunch. "McGeek, McGoo, McGiggles, McGoogle, McFlower Power, McGPS, Probie, Probie wan Kenobi, Probalicious…"

"Elf Lord," Gibbs added after a gulp of his bourbon.

Tony thanked his boss for the input before he turned back to the eager Gemcity fangirls. As he did so, he caught sight of the karaoke machine once more. An idea hit him, and he announced to Ivy and Carina, "He also likes to sing karaoke in his free time."

The dispute between Jimmy and McGee broke off immediately when the latter heard his coworker's last sentence. "Tony…" he growled under his breath, but was cut off by the pleading of his biggest fans.

"Come on, McGemcity, sing for them!" Tony cried as he yanked the geek out of his seat and towards the stage. "I have the perfect song for you." At that, the DJ popped in the CD, and the senior field agent crooned:

_Crime-solving writer_

Mouth agape in recognition of the song, McGee stammered a bit before beginning his part:

_Dear sir or madam will you read my book?_

_It took me years to type, will you take a look?_

Motioning to Team Gibbs and himself, Tony mock-whispered:

_It's based on the exploits of his coworkers_

McGee blurted as his face turned beet red:

_And I love my job so I want to be a crime-solving writer_

_Crime-solving writer!_

_It's a murder story about a close-knit team_

_And everything is more than it seems_

Once again, Tony cut in with another embarrassing fact about McGee:

_The probie's lusting for the Gothic girl_

(Ivy let out a horrified gasp and pouted, while Abby whistled happily to herself)

Even more flustered, the geek grabbed hold of the microphone again:

_And they love their jobs, so he wants to be a crime-solving writer_

_Crime-solving writer!_

_It's a hundred pages, give or take a few_

_I'll be writing more in a year or two_

_I can make it longer, it'll take a while_

Tony belted out the next part:

'_Cause he's kinda blocked since he's currently a crime-solving writer_

_Crime-solving writer!_

With a sigh, McGee started the next verse:

_You may really like it, yes, I'm sure you might_

_It'll make a million in a single night_

Tony sang the next part as a warning:

_He may suspect you for a recent crime_

Summoning up his pride, McGee shouted:

_But that's my job, since I really am a crime-solving writer_

_Crime-solving writer!_

_Crime-solving writer_

Per usual, cheers were abundant throughout the bar. However, there was one loud whoop of, "That's my Timmy McGee!" that drowned out the rest of the cries.

Feeling the fiery stare of one Ivy Leonard burning into the back of her skull, Abby decided to provoke the crazy fangirl by flying onto the stage and planting a kiss smack-dab on the lips of the crime-solving writer.

While her friend shrieked in fury, Carina bolted out of her seat at this display. With a cry of, "This would make a perfect 'McAmy' fanfic!" she removed the pencil placed conveniently behind her ear and began to scribble fervently on a pad of lined paper.

As for Ivy, it took her a few moments to simmer down and unclench her hands, with which she had envisioned strangling the perky Goth. Her mellow state did not last for long, as she soon found herself moseying over to one Tony DiNozzo and purring, "You know, Tommy has always been my favorite character."

Under the table, Ziva's knife-throwing hand had begun to twitch incessantly.

**Well, there you have it. Chapter 5! Wow, we're already this far into this story?**

**The next chapter is parodied, and just needs to be typed up. I will be on vacation for a few days, and swim season is going to start in a few weeks, so updates will most likely be sparse for a while. **

**Reviews, as always, make my day!**

**AQotL**


	6. The Navy Yard

**Hello again, my awesome readers!**

**Let me take a moment to thank you all again for your reviews, alerts, and favorites! They honestly mean a lot to me. Keep it up, guys, and I'll keep updating!**

**To add on to the continuing saga of "Songs Like This", here's Chapter 6! Wow, it's hard to believe this fic has already made it this far, especially since I originally thought I wouldn't be able to make it past four chapters! But then again, this has strayed pretty far from the original idea, so anything can happen, I guess. **

**IMPORTANT NOTE: I'm just going to get this out now so I can avoid dealing with it later – the introductory part of the chapter and the parody itself are VERY OOC, compared to the usual slight OOC-ness. Since the original song for this parody is from a movie (a Monty Python movie, no less), I just HAD to parody the scene in which the song is performed. Given this fact, as well as the type of movie it is, it was going to be OOC. The parody itself is the parody of parodies, in all of its tacky glory, so that's a bit OOC, too. If this OOC-ness bothers you, I promise that ****ALL WILL BE EXPLAINED BY THE END OF THE CHAPTER****.**

**With that said, on with the chapter!**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing except for the parody of the song. I do not own any lines from the original song that are contained in the parody. NCIS and the song I parody do not belong to me. I do not own the movies that are mentioned/parodied in this chapter either.**

**Original Song: "Camelot" (AKA the Knights of the Round Table song) from ****Monty Python and the Holy Grail**** (if you watch the scene the song is performed in, you'll understand the opening part)**

**The Navy Yard**

_Tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, click, click, clunk, clunk. _

The members of Team Gibbs were trekking up the DC streets, the sounds of their relatively diverse shoes against the pavement falling in sync with one another. Though this was the only noise to come from the majority of the group, there was still a certain womanizing agent who just wouldn't shut up.

"So, you see, Director," Tony began, an open case file in his arms. The folder held all the information related to the team's latest investigation – a forgery case that led to the death of a Petty Officer who was in the wrong place at the wrong time. Before continuing his explanation, Tony pulled three pictures out of the file and held them up. "It all comes back to one of Tom Hanks's lines in That Thing You Do!" he shook the first picture, which depicted a rather handsome man in a charcoal suit, "Harrison is the talent. He's the guy who does all the forgeries." The next photo of a smirking, hoodlum-like young man with spiked hair was brought up and introduced as, "Howard. Howard is the… fool, taunting law enforcement with each successful forgery. And James," (this time, Tony's finger pointed at the image of a heavily tattooed, muscular thug), "James is the smart one and takes care of anyone that stumbles upon the ring in the middle of a job, much like our Petty Officer."

As she kept her walking pace, Jenny looked over her shoulder and replied, "This fascinates me, Agent DiNozzo. Explain again this connection between your movie and our latest investigation."

Amazed by the Director's interest, Tony cocked his head in confusion and said, "Certainly, ma'am. I…"

Before the movie-lover could say another word, Ziva pointed forward and cried, "Look, Director!"

The sound of many trumpets exploded in the air after the ninja's exclamation, causing the group to shoot death glares at McGee, who was fumbling with his music-spewing cell phone. He hunched his shoulders instinctively, wincing at what was to come, and uttered a quick, "Sorry," just as he silenced his phone and multiple smacks landed on the back of his head.

After taking care of the geek, Abby glanced up at the source of Ziva's interest (which was now brightly illuminated) and gasped, "The navy yard!"

Tony parroted the scientist. "The navy yard!"

Rubbing his head, McGee joined in with an awestruck, "The navy yard!"

With a grunt, Gibbs scoffed, "It's not _that_ amazing."

Jenny promptly shushed him (which would have been a death wish for anyone other than an ex-lover of Leroy Jethro Gibbs) and announced, "Agents – and scientist – I welcome you back to your workplace." Then, pumping her fist in the air, she shouted, "Let us head to THE NAVY YARD!"

The trumpets burst out again from McGee's cell phone as the team pranced around, soon bursting into song:

_We're NCIS agents_

Poking his head out of an open ventilator shaft on the wall, McGee sang:

_We like to crawl through air vents_

Ziva was seated at her desk, turning her knife over and over in her hands as she examined a file, and murmured:

_We solve our crimes in not much time_

Abby, fervently typing away on her keyboard and squeezing the giant Caf-Pow! in her left hand, finished:

_And it can get intense_

Positioned in front of a large American flag, Gibbs slammed a bullet clip into his gun and said:

_We're stationed on the navy yard_

_We've got_

McGee moved to continue Gibbs's previous statement by giving Abby a hug and crooning:

_Abs_

Still intently focusing on the computer before her, the Goth added:

_And labs_

Two beefy, expressionless, sunglasses-sporting security guards stood – their arms folded across their chests and their guns placed in the holsters on their hips – in front of a door marked "No Entry." Tony popped out from behind them and completed the sentence with:

_And some armed guards_

As the phone continued to spit out frenetic music, the party regrouped once more:

_We're NCIS agents_

_Gibbs seems to have a sixth sense_

Throwing a wadded-up piece of paper at Ziva (who was hard at work), Tony explained:

_When we goof off, he'll loudly cough_

Entering the bullpen with a steaming cup of coffee, Gibbs demonstrated and smacked the senior field agent's head, cheerfully singing:

_And headslaps will commence_

There was a short musical interlude, during which McGee's phone provided small bursts of music while Team Gibbs went around tap dancing and drumming on file cabinets.

After the instrumental, Jenny and Gibbs found themselves arguing in the darkened, motionless elevator, staring each other down with rage-filled eyes. However, the redheaded lady director pulled away and sang angrily:

_Our thoughts are always present_

Back in the bullpen, Tony – who was tied to his chair by many strips of gray duct tape – attempted to speak from behind the layer of tape over his mouth. Ziva watched her partner flail and fumble with his bonds before she ripped off the sticky gag (causing Tony to yelp in pain) and chuckled:

_Though sometimes incoherent_

McGee, hovering over his computer feverishly and jumping in excitement as it emitted a dinging noise, shouting:

_At a fast pace, we'll solve the case_

Pulling out his handcuffs and spinning them around his finger, Tony concluded:

_And off to jail the perp is sent_

Team Gibbs – looking frazzled and exhausted – heaved a collective sigh and moaned:

_It's a busy life on the navy yard_

Standing on the landing of the carpeted stairs, the group's namesake deepened his voice – opera-style – and boomed:

_I like to headslap my agents hard_

Once more, music surged out of McGee's device before ending with an ear-splitting cymbal crash. With this ending, the agents/scientist/director found themselves back on the dimly lit street, their heads cocked to the side as if looking off into the distance. Jenny was the one to wake everyone from their daydreams.

"On second thought, let's not go back to the navy yard," she suggested. "It is a silly place."

Her companions muttered in agreement, and began to head back the way they came from.

NCIS NCIS

"Tony… Tooonyyy…" * _poke poke_ *

"Anthony DiNozzo! …Tony?"

"DINOZZO!" * _slap_ *

"Whuzzat?" was the slurred, rather inarticulate exclamation of one Anthony DiNozzo as his head shot up, frantically searching for the source of the disturbance. Soon enough, his eyes landed on his coworkers, gathered around a table in the back of a noisy bar. Abby's right index finger was poised over his left shoulder, McGee was leaning in close to his ear, and Gibbs's hand hovered over the back of his head like a UFO.

Taking in the surroundings, Tony finally remembered. _The karaoke bar. Right_. He nodded his head in understanding.

Ziva, somewhat concerned for her partner, piped up hesitantly as she watched him. "Tony, are you alright?"

"Oh, yeah, yeah, I'm fine," he replied, waving it off. "I just had a very strange dream. That's all. Probably just had some funky pizza last night." He forced one of his goofy grins as he picked up his drink, but quietly muttered, "That's the last time I eat Italian while watching Monty Python and the Holy Grail."

With a shrug, the rest of the group returned to their respective drinks, letting silence fall over the table. It didn't last for long, for Abby soon cried out:

"Aw, man, I left Bert back at the navy yard!"

Across the table, Tony performed an unexpected but significantly violent spit-take at those two key words.

**And there you have it. Chapter 6! **

**I hope that cleared up the OOC issue enough for you guys. I was originally going to wait until I had the next chapter done to post this, but I didn't want to keep you guys waiting.**

**That being said, the next chapter has an unknown release time. There are two parodies in progress right now, so whichever one I finish first will be included in the next chapter. The thing is, my free time is starting to become sort of sparse, so that may delay the next few chapters. I will update when I can, though!**

**Oh, and Tony's line at the beginning of the chapter is based on a line from the AMAZING movie ****That Thing You Do!**** It's one of my favorite movies, and I just HAD to throw a parody of that line in there.**

**Reviews always make my day! We're almost to 50 reviews! Tell me some of your favorite parts so we can get up to 50!**

**You guys are awesome!**

**AQotL**


	7. Cases, Cases, Cases

**Hello, my ever-awesome readers!**

**You guys really are AWESOME! 59 reviews! I'd give you all an Abby-hug right now, but since I can't, will a new chapter do?**

**Apparently, having three wisdom teeth removed gives your inspiration a nice, swift Gibbs-slap, as I was able to finish the parody itself **_**and **_**type up the entire chapter all in one day. Wow, I'm on a roll!**

**Anyways, this chapter's another funny one that involves Tony reconsidering his career, some slight Tiva hints, a parody of the show itself, and a drowsy Palmer (I sort of made that last one a running joke throughout the chapter). All in all, it's pretty insane. **

**Hope you enjoy Chapter 7!**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing except for the parody of the song. I do not own any lines from the original song that are contained in the parody. NCIS and the song I parody do not belong to me. I do not own the movie/TV shows that are mentioned in this chapter either.**

**Original Song: "Money, Money, Money" from ****Mamma Mia!**

**Cases, Cases, Cases**

"Hey, Boss?"

"Whaddaya want, DiNozzo?"

"I hate my job."

"Excuse me?" Gibbs roared, slamming his bourbon glass on the table so hard that the sound jolted a dozing Palmer out of his slumbering attempt.

Realizing that he should have chosen his words a little better, Tony jumped to defend his claim. "Hey, Boss, Boss, Boss, I didn't mean it like that."

"Then what exactly _did_ you mean?" Gibbs, Ziva, McGee, Abby, Jenny, Ducky, and even the completely out-of-it Palmer asked in unison, their eyebrows furrowed as they stared down their coworker.

"What I meant…" Tony started, thinking over what exactly he wanted to say before leaning in and continuing, "What I meant was, well, don't you ever get tired of playing superhero and solving a murder every week?"

Gibbs glowered intensely at his senior field agent, yet remained silent. Ziva, McGee, and Abby, however, considered Tony's statement with slow, simultaneous nods.

"All we ever do is sit at our desks and wait for a Marine to be murdered or go missing or smuggle a baboon onto an aircraft carrier or something," the movie buff ranted, his voice beginning to rise. "And then, BAM!" (he slapped his palms together, waking poor Jimmy once more), "it's Team Gibbs off to save the day again, meaning my social life is pretty much nonexistent during that time period." Wild-eyed, he spun and grabbed an unsuspecting McGee by his jacket collar, crying, "Do you have any idea how many hot dates I've given up for this job?" as he shook the geek.

"Tony!" Abby and Ziva shouted in unison at his action, accompanied by Gibbs's furious boom of, "DINOZZO!", Jenny's appalled, "Agent DiNozzo!", and Ducky's murmured, "Oh dear, the poor boy's finally snapped" (all of which covered up McGee's squeak of, "Help…" and Palmer's slurred, "Whuzzgoin'on?")

Finally releasing his hold on McGee's collar, Tony's hand flew to his forehead and he gently began to rub circles over his temples. "It's just… it gets annoying after a while. At first, it's all, 'Wait for a case, do some desk work!' and then, 'We have a case, grab your gear!'" He let out a tense laugh as the next thought hit him. "Sometimes, I just feel like my life is being overrun by cases, cases, cases."

Overhearing this monologue a little ways away, the DJ sensed another spontaneous outburst of singing coming on and was prepared when instructions were thrown at him. Once everything was settled, Tony cried, "Hit it!" and began to pace onstage as frantic piano playing blasted out of the speakers. At last, he opened his mouth to sing:

_I work all night, I work all day_

_And play the games I like to play_

Removing the wad of paper from her hair that her partner had just tossed at her, Ziva marched onto the stage and snarled:

_Makes me mad!_

A sad look crossed Tony's face as he muttered:

_And still there always seems to be_

_No time at all for a movie_

The others glanced at each other in slight confusion before joining in:

_That's too bad!_

Throwing his arm around Ziva's shoulders, Tony used his free hand for emphasis as he looked off in a daydream and added:

_And in my dreams, I have a plan_

_If I became a wealthy man_

Ziva 'oh'-ed in understanding and grinned as she caught onto her friend's dream:

_We would not have to work at all_

Smiling himself, Tony nodded and continued:

_We'd fool around and have a ball_

The music changed, and soon the whole team found themselves chanting:

_Cases, cases, cases_

_All those faces_

_Down in autopsy_

_Cases, cases, cases_

Fixing his collar, McGee piped up:

_On navy bases_

A still groggy Palmer yawned:

_And in autopsy_

Tossing her arms out and spinning around as if she were in The Sound of Music, Jenny belted out:

_Oh-whoa-oh-oh-oh_

_All the things I could do!_

The group joined back together to finish the chorus:

_If there weren't so many cases_

_Down in autopsy_

Ziva took a seat next to her partner (who looked lost in thought) on a barstool and softly broke the news to him:

_A life like that is hard to find_

Slouching in his chair as his hands flew away from his head, Tony interrupted:

_But I can't get it off my mind_

The others winced:

_And it's sad!_

The womanizing agent narrowed his eyes as a certain book series and writer came to mind as he growled:

_The only one who'd ever see_

_A life like that is our McGee_

The man in question shrugged as if to say, "That's true," while the rest sang:

_That's too bad!_

The ninja grabbed Tony's hand, pulling him out of his seat as she proposed a new idea:

_So let us leave, no more John Does_

The remainder of the party completed her sentence with a collective shout of:

_And we'll have our own TV show_

Abby spun and strutted across the stage in her clunky boots as she said:

_Our lives would never be the same_

Pondering the glamour of this idea and visualizing his name in lights, Tony cried:

_And everyone would know my name!_

Now filled with glee, Team Gibbs repeated the chorus:

_Cases, cases, cases_

_All those faces_

_Down in autopsy_

_Cases, cases, cases_

_On navy bases_

_And in autopsy_

_Oh-whoa-oh-oh-oh_

_All the things I could do!_

_If there weren't so many cases_

_Down in autopsy_

Cheers of amazement burst out again as the music faded out, drowning out the conversation held by the members of NCIS.

"Seriously, a TV show?" Tony asked Ziva, his eyes shining like those of a fangirl meeting her idol. "Ooh, I can see it now – NCIS. You know, keep it simple. But, oh, it'd be so much more than simple. We could be the next Hawaii Five-0." His eyes widened even further. "_I_ could be the next Rockford! No, _Magnum_!"

As Tony was still in his fantasyland, Gibbs grunted, "Keep dreaming, DiNozzo. It's not going to happen."

"Actually, Boss, I may know someone who could make it happen," McGee countered the ex-sniper. Pulling out a slip of paper, he inquired, "Have you ever heard of Donald P. Bellisario?"

**Yes, I did just parody the show itself, and yes, I did just mention Donald P. Bellisario. It was too good to pass up.**

**Oh, and a bit of trivia: I parodied a mentioned case from the show with the line about a baboon smuggled onto an aircraft carrier. What was the situation given on the show? **

**Since I mentioned fangirls, here's something I was going to ask you guys last chapter: what do you think of Ivy and Carina (you know, the crazy Gemcity fangirls from "Crime-Solving Writer") making a return appearance? I'd like to have them show up again (maybe in the finale), but I wanted to know your opinion. **

**Well, that's all for this chapter! The next parody has the first verse and chorus completed, and given my current track record, it might be finished soon. So, a new chapter may be out shortly!**

**Reviews would be absolutely lovely! Favorite parts, anyone?**

**AQotL**


	8. NCIS Headquarters

**Hello again readers!**

**At last, I have for you Chapter 8! It took me longer to finish the parody than I thought, but the chapter came out quite easily once I had an idea of what I wanted to do.**

**Anyways, this is a continuation of sorts from the previous chapter because Tony is still musing over the idea of a TV show. Some of the fun things that occur in this chapter include a conversation about OOC-ness that's highly amusing, hatred of Rule 12, Palmer finally singing more than one line that's not about autopsy or Agent Lee, and a speaking role (as well as a name) for the poor DJ who has to put up with our crazy agents.**

**I hope you enjoy this update!**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing except for the parody of the song. I do not own any lines from the original song that are contained in the parody. NCIS and the song I parody do not belong to me. I do not own the movie/book series that is mentioned in this chapter either.**

**Original Song: "Copacabana" by Barry Manilow**

**NCIS Headquarters**

[cue the Mark Harmon voiceover]

_Previously on __Songs Like This__…_

_Cheers of amazement burst out again as the music faded out, drowning out the conversation held by the members of NCIS._

_"Seriously, a TV show?" Tony asked Ziva, his eyes shining like those of a fangirl meeting her idol. "Ooh, I can see it now – __NCIS__. You know, keep it simple. But, oh, it'd be so much more than simple. We could be the next __Hawaii Five-0__." His eyes widened even further. "__I__ could be the next Rockford! No, __Magnum__!"_

_As Tony was still in his fantasyland, Gibbs grunted, "Keep dreaming, DiNozzo. It's not going to happen."_

_"Actually, Boss, I may know someone who could make it happen," McGee countered the ex-sniper. Pulling out a slip of paper, he inquired, "Have you ever heard of Donald P. Bellisario?"_

"*_squeal* _OhmyGodohmyGodohmyGod! We're going to have a TV show!"

"Tony, do you have any idea how out of character that sounded?"

"Out of character?" the movie man repeated, his voice quickly dropping the girlish shriek for an incredulous tone. "_Out of character?_ This isn't one of your 'free writing' sessions, McNerd. I'm not even _in _character. I'm not a character!"

"Hold it, hold it, hold it," McGee said as he flailed his hands. "What I'm trying to say is if we're seriously thinking about doing a TV show, we'd need to act like we normally do all the time. So, Tony, you'd have to be the juvenile playboy that you are. You should not sound like a teenage girl obsessing over the Twilight series."

Starting to understand, Tony supplied an example of his own. "When you're the wimpy computer geek, you can't have all the hot girls fawning over you."

The part-time writer did not appreciate this last part, but still continued with another model – "Ziva should not spontaneously dance on her desk. Actually, she should never dance on her desk at any time."

"Abby can't suddenly take to drinking coffee."

"Director Shepard shouldn't start dressing like a Vegas showgirl."

"Gibbs in a Speedo. Never, EVER, going to happen."

A hand landed on both Tony and McGee's heads as the man in question reaffirmed the previous statement – "You got that right, DiNozzo."

"_Ahem_," was Abby's way of recapturing the attention of the three men. Once this was accomplished, she spoke again. "Well, now that we have all the characterization issues settled…"

Ziva interrupted her friend. "What would be the plot to this television show?"

The question silenced McGee and Gibbs (the latter completely uninterested in the matter anyway), but Tony jumped up with the answer.

"It'd be about us. You know, who we are, what we do, cover some cases, blah, blah, blah," he provided, nodding his head as he listed off each point. "Oh, and then there'd be the underlying 'will they or won't they' tension between possible love interests."

"Ah," Ziva said, nodding her head slightly, "so it is like one of McGee's books."

"NO!" her partner shouted, smacking his fists upon the table in exasperation. "That's not it! It would be us, not Tommy and Lisa and…" (a loud sigh) "Look, maybe I should demonstrate."

As it turned out, "maybe I should demonstrate" was equivalent to "maybe I should sing karaoke".

"Think of this as the theme song for our show," Tony explained to the group as he pulled Ziva next to him and sang into the microphone:

_Her name was Ziva_

_She was a ninja_

_With a knife placed at her hip, and some bullets in a clip_

_They come in handy_

_In situations_

_Where the perp is much too bold_

(To clarify the previous line, Ziva lifted an imaginary gun and pretended to fire at the 'perp', AKA Agent Sacks)

_Yeah, it really does get old_

The MCRT members took the next part:

_Deskwork is such a chore_

_Sometimes it makes us snore_

(Tony attempted to replicate Ziva's snoring while the assassin shot him a murderous glance)

_But then we get a call about a murder_

_In the Marine Corps_

The remainder of the party joined in for the chorus:

_At the NCIS headquarters_

_Where boss Jethro Gibbs shouts some orders_

_At the NCIS headquarters_

_Music and Labby and don't forget Abby_

_At the N-C…_

The senior field agent deepened his voice and – remembering a certain rule – sadly confessed:

_Can't fall in love_

A small note card with the words 'Rule Number 12' burst into flames in Ziva's mind as she began her solo:

_His name was Tony_

_He loved his movies_

_He wore a smile much too wide_

_When he should go run and hide_

(The knife in her hands gave the answer as to why her suggestion was crucial)

Abby hugged McGee as she giggled:

_And then there's Timmy_

Tony appeared behind the couple and added:

_He was a probie_

Palmer enthusiastically danced around the foursome as he crooned:

_They met with Ziva and Abby_

_About the serial killer_

For the part of the serial killer, the team grabbed the poor, unsuspecting DJ and tossed him into a booth across from Gibbs. As the young man's eyes widened in terror, the rest chanted:

_Interrogation room_

_Where you can just assume_

_That with a flash of Boss's handcuffs, the perp will meet his doom!_

The DJ looked just about ready to faint as the chorus was repeated:

_At the NCIS headquarters_

_Where boss Jethro Gibbs shouts some orders_

_At the NCIS headquarters_

_Music and Labby and don't forget Abby_

_At the N-C…_

This time, Abby took the following line, tilting her head to the side and clasping her hands together as she said:

_We need some love_

McGee followed up with his bit:

_Her name was Abby_

_She had a hippo_

Gibbs changed the topic as he waved a photo of La Grenouille and growled:

_The Frog has come and gone_

Spying his ex-girlfriend still seated at the bar, Tony added:

_And by the way, his daughter's Jeanne_

Now that they had the doctor's attention, Abby continued:

_She dated Tony_

_His car got blown up_

Over Tony's cries of, "Come on, you _had_ to bring that tragedy up?" Ziva, Abby, and McGee made explosion noises. As their coworker slumped in his seat, they sang in unison:

_At that yard not far away_

_Tony's had a lousy day_

A spotlight was turned on where Gibbs and Jenny stood, and the rest revealed:

_Gibbs is the one she's missed_

_Jenny wants one more kiss_

(The redhead's cheeks now matched her hair)

_They both just can't forget_

_What happened in Paris!_

(Now both of the ex-lovers were extremely flustered)

The chorus rolled around again:

_At the NCIS headquarters_

_Where boss Jethro Gibbs shouts some orders_

_At the NCIS headquarters_

_Music and Labby and don't forget Abby _

_At the N-C..._

As the music kept playing, Team Gibbs repeated together:

_Show us some love_

The crowd obliged with abundant clapping and cheering. Meanwhile, Tony and Ziva paid a visit to the DJ, who was still seated in the booth where they left him.

Upon their arrival, the man looked up in fear at the two agents. When they remained silent, he blurted out the first thing that came to mind: "Look, I'm not a serial killer!"

Tony decided to have fun with the DJ, so he plastered a serious look on his face and said, "You know, saying that makes me even more suspicious of you. What's your name?"

"TJ," was the hasty reply.

Ziva joined in with her partner's prank and brushed her fingers over her knife as she repeated the question. "What is your name?"

This time, "TJ" rapidly answered, "Theodore Jerome Murphy. I'm serious, I've never committed a crime in my life."

The interrogators looked at each other before Tony admitted, "Oh, we believe you. We're just kidding."

TJ shot the partners a confused look that said, "You people are insane," before sliding out of the booth and scurrying back to his station.

Laughing to themselves, Tony and Ziva rejoined the rest of the group. McGee stepped up and greeted them with, "Singing karaoke: VERY out of character."

The fun-loving agent waved off his coworker's remark. "Pssh, it makes for good humor." There was a pause, and then Tony pondered out loud, "You know, maybe the TV show thing isn't such a good idea. I mean, who would watch it?"

**Haha. I parody the show itself once again.**

**Well, I'm just going to get this out now: the updates are going to start winding down. My life is going to be very busy pretty soon, so updates are not going to come out on a regular basis. I will, however, try to update when I can. **

**Because of this point, I do not know when the next chapter is going to come. I have a few ideas bouncing around, so whichever one really clicks will be the next chapter, which I will try to get out as soon as I can. **

**Reviews are Gibbs-slaps for my inspiration! Write a little something (favorite parts would be lovely) to give my motivation a nice, Tony-worthy smack.**

**AQotL**


	9. Prayin' for Updates

**Hello my loyal readers!**

**No, you are not hallucinating – I actually updated ****Songs Like This****!**

**I'll explain everything at the end.**

**Disclaimer: ****I own nothing except for the parody of the song. I do not own any lines from the original song that are contained in the parody. NCIS and the song I parody do not belong to me. I do not own the TV shows/game/actor that are mentioned in this chapter either.**

**Original Song: "Prayin' for Daylight" by Rascal Flatts**

**Prayin' for Updates**

"That is it! I cannot take it any longer!" *_crash_*

That was the sound of an infuriated, idiom-hating assassin trying (and failing) to control her anger, thus leading to the violent demise of a wooden barstool. Still seething, Ziva chucked her knife across the room, where it landed smack-dab in the middle of Fornell and Sacks's table.

"Ziva!" her coworkers shouted in astonishment, only to be drowned out by her cries of, "It has been too long! Much too long! I am tired of waiting!" She reached for another knife, only to have Abby fly to her side and call frantically, "Gibbs! I think it's time for another NCIS!"

Tony, who had been sitting in boredom a few feet away, raised his eyebrows at this exclamation. "Already? Abs, 'LA' has only been on for a year! Do we really want to start heading down the Law and Order/CSI path so early?"

The Goth rolled her eyes as the rest of the team quickly assembled around her. "Tony, you should know by now that 'NCIS' in this instance stands for '**N**ew **C**hapter **I**dea **S**ession'." She emphasized the first letter of each word, then narrowed her eyes. "Have you been playing an endless game of Tetris for the past two months?"

"Uh," the Italian playboy stammered, hastily shoving his phone into his jacket pocket. "What makes you say that?"

Abby groaned loudly before turning to the others. "Anyone want to explain the point of this meeting to Tony?"

From across the bar, Jeanne lowered her glass of tequila to answer in a monotonous voice. "They're trying to get _her_ back so they can sing more of those ridiculous songs."

Tony furrowed his brow as he tried to make sense of it all. "So, basically, these meetings have been about trying to lure Aweso-"

A chorus of, "NO! Don't say it!" roared throughout the bar, cutting off the movie buff. Confused, he tried again. "You want AQo-"

The others repeated their previous warning, and McGee clapped a hand over his friend's mouth before he could cause any more damage. As Tony glared at him, the geek explained, "Yes, we're attempting to bring _her_ out of this writing hiatus so she can write more parodies."

The very special agent slapped McGee's hand away and leaned back, drumming his fingers on the table. "So, do you have any plans that may prove successful in getting the Crazy Writer Chick to, you know, _write_?"

"Actually, we do have a few good ideas," McGee stated matter-of-factly. He then reached beneath the table and with a wheezing grunt dropped a computer and a book titled "Baiting a Crazy Fanfic Writer for Dummies" upon the tabletop.

Tony's eyes widened at the sight of the hulking electronic device. "You stole this chick's computer? Are you finally making the transition into the 21st century, McF. Scott Fitzgerald?" He then caught sight of a plain white sticky note at the base of the computer, on which something was written in neon pink highlighter. "What the heck is _that_ supposed to mean?"

Abby peered around the screen and took a look. "I think that's the name of her computer."

McGee scoffed. "What sane person names their electronics?"

He then noticed the scientist's fingers caressing the bottles of potentially harmful chemicals in her pocket, and hastily added, "Besides you, Abs."

"Hey!" Gibbs barked, snapping his fingers. "Let's get back to business here! We have the computer and this book, but what's our real strategy?"

Sulking over at the bar, Jeanne grumbled to no one in particular, "Why don't you just sing another one of your silly songs?"

Unfortunately for the bitter doctor, her ex-boyfriend's hearing was sharper than ever, and Tony giddily reiterated the suggestion to his coworkers.

McGee peeked out from behind the copy of "Baiting a Crazy Fanfic Writer for Dummies" and responded, "That's exactly what the book suggests for ending a hiatus for this… _species_ of writer." He skimmed the page a little bit more before pointing out a passage to Tony. "It also says to have these items at the ready for when she's on the prowl."

The juvenile agent nodded. "Sounds like a good plan, and I've got the perfect song to start us off. TJ?"

The DJ was busy reading a magazine when his name was called, forcing him to abandon his relaxed state and scramble to prepare the music. At last, he located the correct CD and hit play.

The group convened to croon in harmony:

_We don't want to spend another lonely day_

_Ooooooh_

There was a pause in the singing for a short musical interlude. Once it had finished, Team Gibbs began again:

_We've got the Mac turned on_

_The keyboard set, the cursor blinks in Word_

_Doin' the only thing to _

_Speak our minds and let ourselves be heard_

Their voices grew louder as the chorus started:

_Prayin' for updates, waitin' for another song_

Tony drooled as an appealing idea for future chapter content appeared in a comical thought bubble over his head, causing him to blurt:

'_Cause I like seeing Ziva dressed in a pink thong_

(His partner glowered and promptly stabbed the thought bubble with her knife)

McGee cautiously placed the first piece of bait – a black fedora – near the bar's entrance, murmuring:

_Writer, come back to us, we hope you'll take the bait_

_Make sure no more chapters are published late_

_Prayin' for updates_

The team regrouped once more for the next verse:

_We made a bad miscalculation_

_Bettin' you'd be back real soon_

_But now you're getting back to parodies_

_So where's our newest tune?_

The chorus came around again, this time without Tony's "mind-in-the-gutter" comment:

_Prayin' for updates, waitin' for another song_

'_Cause this hiatus has been going on too long_

It was Abby's turn to set out the bait, and she dropped the large vanilla milkshake next to the fedora as she pleaded:

_Writer, come back to us, we hope you'll take the bait_

_Make sure no more chapters are published late_

_Prayin' for updates_

Ziva took the next part for her solo:

_Hoping that it will not be too long_

_Before it's time for the next song_

The NCIS gang joined together once more, directing the next lines at the faithful readers:

_Deep in our hearts we know that_

_You love songs as much as you love us_

_And that you must be sitting somewhere_

_Wonderin' if this break's unjust_

_Prayin' for updates, waitin' for another song_

'_Cause this hiatus has been going on too long_

Tony gazed longingly at the stack of movies he set down next to the fedora and the milkshake before he burst out with:

_Writer, come back to us, we hope you'll take the bait_

_Make sure no more chapters are published late _

_Prayin' for updates_

For the final part, everyone cried:

_Prayin' for updates, waitin' for another song_

'_Cause this hiatus has been going on too long_

_Writer, come back to us, we hope you'll take the bait_

_Make sure no more chapters are published late_

_Prayin' for updates_

_Prayin' for updates_

_We don't want to spend another lonely day_

_We don't want to spend another lonely day_

_Prayin' for updates_

The music died, leaving the bar in complete silence. The patrons who were previously seated throughout the bar and clapped for the singing agents had gone AWOL when the parodies came to a screeching halt. Abby crossed her fingers, hoping the audience would return soon.

Suddenly, a door opened to the left of the room, and a shadowy figure entered humming the "Hawaii Five-O" theme song. The noise cut off as the newcomer paused to survey her surroundings in curiosity.

Abby dug her fingernails into McGee's left shoulder in anticipation. "It's her!" she hissed excitedly. "The writer! She's back!"

Hearing the Goth's whispers, the silhouette turned her head towards the group. Singling out Gibbs, Abby, and McGee, she beckoned them over.

The rest of Team Gibbs waited with bated breath as their representatives conversed with the writer. A few moments and a couple of nods later, the visitor drew the three NCIS employees into a big group hug before slapping the fedora on her head, taking a sip of the milkshake, and skipping off while squealing something about Matt Damon.

"How did it go, Jethro?" Jenny asked once Gibbs and the others returned. The rest of the group chimed in with a chorus of "Yeahs," eager to hear the writer's plans.

McGee spoke for the group of "ambassadors." "She said she's getting back to parodies. She has more free time now, so she was going to come back anyway, but she said the song was a nice touch."

Cheers erupted from the band of federal agents at their victory, and TJ started to play "We Are the Champions" in celebration. However, Gibbs held up a hand to silence the party.

"The writer also gave us this," he explained, passing a slip a paper to Tony. "She wants you and Ziva to sing this for the Fanfic readers."

The flirtatious movie-lover glanced at the paper, his jaw dropping as he recognized the original song. "No way. Do I have to sing this?"

"Would you rather risk being killed off in the next chapter if you don't?" McGee queried.

Tony shot him a nasty look before sighing and harmonizing with his crazy ninja:

_Near, far, wherever you are_

_We can tell you the songs will go on…_

**Yes, I know that was a bit odd, but I figured it would be better than having a longer-than-normal author's note on the next chapter! **

**Anyways, the point of this was to let you guys know that I'M BACK! It's been a while, but ****Songs Like This**** is finally getting the attention it needs. Updates are not going to come as frequently as they did in the summer, but I hope to get a new chapter out every few weeks. The parodies for the next two chapters are ready (I just need to write the chapters), and I have a bunch of great ideas in progress already. And to think my original plan was to stop after nine parodies and an epilogue!**

**It would be an amazing welcome back gift if we can get to 80 reviews on this chapter. As usual, favorite parts would be lovely, but to change it up a little bit why don't we try top three favorite moments from the entire story so far? **

**Thanks so much, and it's good to be back!**

**AQotL**

**Original Ending Song: "My Heart Will Go On" by Celine Dion (yes, the ****Titanic**** song)**


	10. Abby's Lab

**Hello readers!**

**Thanks so much for welcoming me back last chapter with all your reviews! They sincerely mean a lot to me.**

**In return, I give you… Chapter 10! It's funny: I originally feared I would not have enough material to make it this far, so I planned to end the story after nine parodies and an epilogue. I can tell you now that my old plan has been thrown out the window, and this story is nowhere near slowing down (I think I have twenty-something chapters planned, overall). **

**Now for the chapter synopsis: this is a bit of a dream chapter, much like "The Navy Yard." It's set up a little bit differently, though, since it switches between the dream world and dialogue clips from the real world. **

**I hope you enjoy the latest installment!**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing except for the parody of the song. I do not own any lines from the original song that are contained in the parody. NCIS and the song I parody do not belong to me. I do not own the bands/singers/game that are mentioned in this chapter either.**

**Original Song: "Penny Lane" by the Beatles**

**Abby's Lab**

"UNO!"

The patrons seated near Team Gibbs's table jumped half a foot into the air at Tony's exuberant exclamation. Triumphantly, he tossed a red 5 card on top of the discard pile and waved his remaining card in the air.

Gibbs smirked wryly to himself at his senior field agent's antics. Oh, the things that can happen when Anthony DiNozzo stumbles upon a deck of Uno playing cards…

There was a yelp of surprise in reaction to the boisterous proclamation. "Uno?" Abby repeated, her eyes widening with incredulity. "_Uno?_ How can you possibly have just one card left, Tony? I have, like, _nueve_."

Jimmy nodded in agreement, holding his cards up. "Eleven over here."

"Six," was Fornell's confession.

"I… I think I have something like fifteen…?" TJ – having finally abandoned his DJ post to join the agents' game – said uncertainly, fumbling with his cards.

"I have four," McGee admitted, drumming his fingers on the table.

"Ooh!" Ziva shrieked excitedly as she used her turn to slap down a blue 5 on top of Tony's card. "I also have one more."

Her partner gaped at her. "What?"

"I have one card left. _Uno. Un. Unum. _Do I need to continue translating for you?"

"Oh, no, Zee-vah, I believe it is _I_ who must translate something for _you_," Tony chuckled somewhat sardonically, before he leaned in. "This means war."

The Israeli grinned slyly in return, accepting the challenge.

And that was how, two minutes later, a fight broke out amongst the competing coworkers.

"Tooo-neeeee!" Ziva screamed, clawing at the movie buff's shoulder as they both attempted to place their respective cards down. "I… am… going… to… WIN!" Tony echoed her, replacing his own name with, "Zeeeeee-vaaaaaaaaah!"

As the scuffle got violent, the other players reacted in different ways. TJ bolted from the table, Jimmy took a few cautious steps back, wondering, "Since when has Uno been a contact sport?" and Abby and Fornell attempted to break up the altercation. McGee joined in as well, while silently trying to calm himself. _Go to my happy place, go to my happy place, go to my happy place, go to… _

His thoughts cut off when Ziva's tan arm lashed out, smacking him full in the face. Eyes closed, McGee felt himself topple to the ground.

If the world were normal, he would have found himself flat on his back, gazing up from the wooden floor of the bar. However, when McGee opened his eyes, he literally found himself in his so-called "happy place."

He was sitting in the middle of Abby's lab.

"Huh," the geek muttered. "Well, that's new."

NCIS NCIS

"What the hell did you do to McGeekle, Ziva? He's out cold." *_prod prod_* "I never knew your arm could be so lethal."

"At least it was not your 'knee' this time."

"Oh, _real _nice! Thanks for reminding me about our little undercover escapade again!"

"OhmyGodohmyGodohmyGod, Timmy! Ducky! Ducky! Timmy needs help!"

"Calm down, Abigail, I'm here. Now let me just take a look at our poor Timothy."

"Ducky, if you need to operate on McGee, I can loan you some makeshift equipment."

"Put the knife away, Ziva."

"Wait! Wait! Everybody, be quiet! Timmy's saying something!"

"_Abby's Lab…_"

"Oh, dear…"

"Why does that sound familiar? Is he doing what I think he's doing… while unconscious?"

"TJ! We need 100 cc of the Beatles over here, stat!"

NCIS NCIS

"What do you know," McGee murmured to himself as he paced about the room, surveying his surroundings. "I actually went to my happy place."

From where he stood, the probie could hear Tony and Ziva bickering somewhere out in the hallway. He grinned to himself, content that even the smallest details were included in his vision.

As he continued making his way around the lab, McGee stopped in front of Abby's photo wall to gaze at the various pictures of him and the rest of his coworkers. Oddly, this action – as well as the absence of the eardrum-shattering music that constantly played – caused him to sing quietly to himself:

_Abby's lab, there is a wall covered in photographs_

_Of the friends that are the best she'll ever know_

_And all the agents that come and go stop and say hello_

McGee moved to the other side of the room and picked up a CD that was sitting on top of Abby's stereo. Examining it, he raised his voice in confidence and continued:

_In the corner is a CD of Numeriklab_

_And other bands that most of us have never heard_

_But to Abby, it sounds absurd_

_It is so insane_

_And very strange_

The CD was discarded as the geeky agent danced over to the center of the room and chanted:

_Abby's lab is in my ears and in my eyes_

_So much better than the FBI's_

_It's true and meanwhile back…_

NCIS NCIS

"Numeriklab? That's a band?"

"Yes it is, Tony. Like Timmy said, I have a CD with a Numeriklab song on it. I've unofficially made it our theme song."

"Nice. I'll have to listen to it sometime. Speaking of music, have you ever heard of Pauley Perrette?"

"Yes! She's actually on the same CD… hang on, Timmy's singing again…"

NCIS NCIS

"… hang on, Timmy's singing again…" came a voice from inside the office tucked in the back of the lab. McGee jumped up when he heard the noise, and turned around just in time to see a smiling Abby emerge from the smaller room. Brandishing a Caf-Pow (a twin of the one sitting next to her computer), she positioned herself in front of her screen and beckoned her friend to join her.

McGee examined the scene and mused:

_Abby's lab, there is a Caf-Pow on the countertop_

_Another one is resting gently in her hand_

Abby turned on her music and promptly did a cartwheel, as well as other gymnastics moves. Her companion observed her quirky routine and added:

_She sets it down and does a handstand_

_To her favorite band_

A machine beeped near the doorway, and the Goth rushed to remove a sealed vial filled with an unidentifiable green liquid. She returned to her computer and pulled up a new box of information, at which she stared without interruption.

McGee picked up with the second chorus:

_Abby's lab is in my ears and in my eyes_

_Her mass spec identifies_

_Strange compounds. Meanwhile back…_

NCIS NCIS

"Ah, geek love. The only situation where a man can sing a song about a woman and glorify her electronics at the same time."

_*****__punch* _"Shut up, Tony."

"There's also assassin/playboy coworker love: where a Mossad officer can secretly love her unbelievably handsome partner and want to kill him at the same time."

"I am not secretly in love with you, Tony!"

"Who said I was talking about you, Ziva? Although, I appreciate the fact that you think I'm handsome."

"I will kill you, Tony, perhaps with one of those colorful umbrellas that 80% of the women here have on top of their drinks."

*_Gulp_*

"Shh, you two, he's starting up again…"

NCIS NCIS

_She was just here a second ago…_ McGee thought to himself as he searched throughout the lab for Abby. She was still reading the test results when he turned his back, but when he moved to face her again, the scientist had vanished.

Suddenly, an obnoxious flatulent noise erupted in the center of the room, followed by a quiet giggle. McGee was heading over to investigate the disturbance when Abby popped up from behind the metallic table. She picked her stuffed hippo off of the ground and set him on the tabletop, pinching the fabric with her right hand to repeat the sound.

McGee laughed to himself as he crooned:

_Under the table in the middle of this hinky room_

_Her little Bert is loudly farting when he's squeezed_

_This oddly makes our Abby very pleased_

_Oh, her mind is eased_

He proceeded to retrace his original path, both in the lab and the song:

_Abby's lab, another picture's added to the wall_

_We hear the CD starting over on track one_

The agent paused to lift one of Abby's abandoned caffeinated beverages. Feeling how heavy it was, he added:

_And a Caf-Pow's sitting in the sun_

_All of it remains_

_Very strange_

The chorus came around again:

_Abby's lab is in my ears and in my eyes_

_So much better than the FBI's_

_It's true and meanwhile back_

Catching sight of the happy Goth, McGee rushed over and – without thinking – kissed her full on the lips as he cried:

_Abby's lab is in my ears and in my eyes_

_So much better than the FBI's_

The scientist's green eyes widened when her friend broke the embrace. She opened her mouth to say something, but McGee's foot slid out from under him, and he began his descent to the sterile gray floor. Before his head smacked the tile and darkness swept over him, he completed his song with a final shout:

_Abby's lab!_

NCIS NCIS

"Abby, he is starting to wake up."

"He is? Oh! Oh! Timmy? Timmy, can you hear me?"

*_Groan*_

"IT'S ALIVE! Hey, McFrankenstein, welcome back to the world of the living!"

"Shut… up… Tony." *_Groan_*

At last, McGee opened his eyes, only to find his coworkers staring down at him wearing expressions that went from worried (Abby) to concerned (Ziva) to downright amused (Tony).

"What happened?" he asked, his words slurring. He attempted to sit up, but was forced back down by Ducky and the excruciating pain in his head. "All I remember is the Uno game, Ziva and Tony turning it into a contact sport, and then an arm smacking me in the face."

"Well, Timothy, you seem to have most of the story down," Ducky admitted, resting his hand on McGee's shoulder, "but you got a slight concussion when your head hit the ground, knocking you unconscious."

The geek rubbed his head, slightly disappointed that the whole scenario in Abby's lab was a figment of his imagination. "So my song was just a dream?"

The faces of his coworkers morphed into those of uneasiness – except for Tony's, whose smirk merely widened.

"Ah…" Ziva started, brushing a stray strand of hair behind her ear. "Not exactly."

Tony butted in and gleefully cut to the chase. "Oh, man, you were singing your head off there, Ringo McStarr. Loudly, might I add. _'Abby's lab is in my ears and in my eyes…'_" He broke off; his smile now so similar to that of the Cheshire Cat that McGee expected his friend to vanish. "Although, those lips weren't just used for singing."

The geek froze. Instantly paling, he nervously glanced up at Abby, whose cheeks had turned as red as a Caf-Pow label.

"Abs… Abby, I'm sorry…" McGee stammered at the equally-mortified Goth. "I'm really, really sorry."

The pigtailed woman hugged her friend, accepting the apology. "It's okay, Timmy. You didn't know. It was just… unexpected." She gave him a reassuring smile. "But it was nice."

As the two geeks embraced, Tony and Ziva slipped back to their abandoned table, where various Uno cards were scattered about.

"Hey, we never finished our game," the McNickname creator realized. Narrowing his eyes and twitching his eyebrows slyly, he asked, "Shall we play another round?"

Ziva twirled a cocktail umbrella between her fingers and grinned. "Bring it on."

It only took five minutes for the shrieks of "Tooooooo-neeeee!" and "Zeeeeeeee-vaaaaaaah!" to begin, and the remainder of Team Gibbs made sure they kept a safe distance from the brawling partners to avoid McGee's previous misfortune.

**Wow. I think that was the longest chapter so far!**

**I'll admit, Tony and Ziva's Uno competition was based off of a much less violent game of Double Solitaire I once engaged in with a friend. My mom's remark to these events inspired Jimmy's question at the beginning of the first battle: "Since when did Double Solitaire become a contact sport?"**

**The parody for Chapter 11 is already complete, so I just need to write up the chapter. I have a specific date that I'd like to publish it on, but I may be delayed. However, the chapter will not be delayed for very long, if at all.**

**Reviews, as usual, are my version of Caf-Pow (well, that, and vanilla milkshakes). Favorite parts are lovely and encouraged! Oh, and can anyone find that little reference to ****Star Wars**** that I threw in this chapter? It's a little thing near the beginning…**

**Thanks for the welcome back!**

**AQotL**


	11. Me and My Team

**Hello again readers!**

**My sincerest apologies for taking so long to update! I had a case of writer's block, and there were a couple oneshots that needed my attention. This would have been up last week, but I had limited time to work on this.**

**After all that, here's Chapter 11! This one's a little bit wackier and nonsensical than the previous ones, mainly because there's quite a bit of French spoken. That's due to the introduction of another minor OC – this time, it's a French-speaking bartender who bonds with Tony over their mutual love of movies.**

**This character, named Guy, was from a multi-chapter I had been working on a while ago. I gave up on that story, but I wanted to use Guy sometime. I found the perfect opening after I wrote this parody and realized it was another "this is what we do at NCIS" song. Everybody in the story understands what NCIS does by now, so tossing Guy in seemed like a good option.**

**I'm going to leave it at that, and I hope you enjoy this off-the-wall installment of ****Songs Like This****!**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing except for the parody of the song. I do not own any lines from the original song that are contained in the parody. NCIS and the song I parody do not belong to me. I do not own the movies that are mentioned in this chapter either.**

**Original Song: "Me and My Gang" by Rascal Flatts**

**Me and My Team**

"_Ah! Ah! Je m'excuse! Je suis en retard! Je m'excuse, je m'excuse!_"

The front door of the bar burst open with a bang, and its patrons glanced up from their drinks to see a dark-haired young man bolt inside. Quickly shedding his coat and tossing it aside, he vaulted over the bar counter and crash-landed on the floor. He recovered seconds later, promptly turning to an incredulous Jeanne and asking, "Would you like another tequila?" as if nothing had happened.

TJ – who was now spending his DJ-ing breaks with the NCIS team – glanced at his watch. "You were supposed to be here half an hour ago, Guy."

"_Je sais, je sais,_" the newcomer replied, switching back to French for a moment and waving off his friend's comment as he presented a new glass of tequila to Jeanne. "Traffic is a problem. If you want to get somewhere on time, the only option you have is to drive dangerously fast."

"_C'est vrai,_" Ziva and Gibbs admitted in unison, thinking about their own preferred driving styles.

This drew Guy's attention. "Oh, hello! _Vous êtes les agents fédéral, n'est pas? _TJ told me about you! _Vous chantez le karaoke?_"

"_Oui,_" the entire table answered icily, glaring at TJ. The DJ was frantically flailing his hands horizontally in front of his throat, trying to get Guy to stop talking.

The bartender didn't listen. "Guillaume Laurent," he introduced, shaking Ziva's hand. "_Mais vous pouvez m'appeller Guy._"

"Well, what do you know," Tony exclaimed, grinning roguishly as he glanced from the bartender to the computer geek. "Now we've got Guy and _Mc_Gee."

The former heard this and took a look at the latter. His eyes widened in surprise. "You are Thom E. Gemcity? _L'écrivain de _Deep Six? _J'aime vos livres!_"

McGee moaned, unwilling to discuss his side career with a fan again (though he was thankful that this encounter would not involve any flirting on the fan's part). "Look, I'm glad you're a fan, but can we please not talk about my books right now?"

Guy nodded, but was still curious. "You do not wish to talk about your writing? _Pourquoi?_"

Tony – who was nowhere near fluent in French – wanted to show off and blurted the first French phrase that came to his mind: "_Parce que c'est un jour de fête!_"

"Tony, today is not a holiday," Ziva informed her partner quietly as the bilingual bartender cocked his head in confusion. "And why would it matter if today was a holiday? McGee does not wish to speak of his books because of _those two_." She jabbed a finger at Ivy and Carina's table.

The agent/writer confirmed Ziva's story. "We had a bit of a run-in with some fangirls earlier."

" 'Run-in'?" Tony scoffed. "McChuckles, the Beatles have gotten to your head. It's not like you have a mob of girls chasing after you like in 'A Hard Day's Night'."

"_Personellement, je préfère _'That Thing You Do'," Guy admitted in response to Tony's example.

The movie-loving agent gaped at the bartender, so stunned to find another film buff that he heard angels singing in his mind.

Team Gibbs sullenly turned back to their drinks as the two new BFFs yakked about classic films like teenage girls gossiped about boys. As the conversation continued, the more irksome it became to the surrounding agents. Ziva began to finger her knife, and soon enough the others had their hands tightly clutching their guns.

Sensing the group's boredom, Guy broke off his conversation with Tony. "So," he began, directing the question at the other NCIS employees, "what exactly do your jobs entail? _Qu'est-ce que vous faites?_"

Gibbs spoke for the party. "Which job – federal agent," he paused to shoot a glare at TJ, who started the mess in the first place, "or karaoke singer?"

Ziva added, "We could demonstrate the latter to explain the former."

Tony let out a boisterous laugh, pounding his fist on the table. "Good one, Zee-vah!" He continued chuckling until the Israeli ninja grabbed his arm and yanked him on stage.

"TJ!" the team barked in unison, and the DJ scrambled back to his post. He slapped the back of his head as he readied the CD, realizing that this was his punishment for publicizing the agency's antics.

The music started, opening with the repetitive sound of a guitar. At last, the song began, and Team Gibbs sang:

_Way on up to Arlington, Virginia_

_With the caps and jackets, that's where we're headed_

Gibbs took the next line, a thoughtful look passing over his eyes:

_Then to a town in Pennsylvania_

A look of fear spread across Tony's face as he shrieked:

_Screamin', "Whoa, Ziva, you're driving too fast!"_

The group harmonized:

_Navy Yard, to Quantico_

_Even Rock Creek Park's got one or two Marines ready for Autopsy_

_It's a brother and a sister kind of thing_

_Raise up your hands, 'cause we're all gonna sing with_

_Me and my team, we solve cases, we catch bad guys_

_Me and my team_

Tony nudged his thumb towards the silver-haired sniper and said:

_Gibbs can be mean,_

Jenny added:

_But he's more than he seems_

The rest joined in to shout:

_He's gotta lead this thing, he needs this thing_

The coffee-loving man grumbled to himself, but sighed:

_Me and my team_

The next verse started:

_We've got_

Ziva punched Tony in the shoulder:

_Playboys_

Tony grinned devilishly back at his partner:

_Ninjas_

Abby and McGee locked arms and pointed to themselves:

_Techno geeks_

Palmer jumped on stage and pranced around in his green outfit:

_Gremlins dressed in autopsy scrubs_

The agents held up their weapons, while Abby grabbed a bowling ball out of nowhere:

_Carryin' guns and bowling with nuns_

Spotting the Autopsy Gremlin and his lady friend, Tony cried:

_Agent Lee's even making out with Jimmy!_

Jenny took her solo to criticize her ex-lover's ignorance of protocol:

_Boats and bourbon_

_Sit with evidence at the Gibbs residence_

The agent-in-charge retorted:

_In the basement I'll solve the case, Jen!_

The chorus came around again:

_It's a brother and a sister kind of thing_

_Raise up your hands 'cause we're all gonna sing with_

_Me and my team, we solve cases, we catch bad guys_

_Me and my team_

_Gibbs can be mean, but he's more than he seems_

_He's gotta lead this thing, he needs this thing_

_Me and my team_

After a bit of fiddle music, the song came to a close. Applause congratulated Team Gibbs, but they were uninterested. Instead, they turned their attention towards TJ and Guy. The DJ was beating his head against the table, while the bartender was dumbstruck.

"Ah, um," he stuttered, trying to find his words. "_Ça, ça c'était… intéressant. _Vraiment_ intéressant._"

Still pumped up from the performance, Tony tried to show off again and shouted, "_Me gusta queso!_"

Everyone looked at him strangely, and Ducky began to fret. "Poor Anthony must be losing his mind," he murmured.

Finally, Ziva spoke up. "Tony, that was Spanish. And I do not think shrieking "I like cheese!' is the best victory cry."

Quickly turning red, the trilingual nonsense-spewing agent slumped in a chair and made a mental note to watch James Bond movies in French until he was fluent in the language. 

**Odder than usual, I know, but you need a little goofiness every once in a while.**

**Chapter 12 is already underway, so I'll be working on that. I was hoping to get it up before the new year, but I'm working on a few other things. Still, there's a possibility that I can finish it this week or sometime next week!**

**Also, if you're interested, feel free to check out "Tape, Stapler, Paperclip," one of the oneshots that I wrote while fighting writer's block. It's pretty much ****Songs Like This****, minus the singing.**

**Reviews are always welcome! Favorite parts, anyone?**

**AQotL**

**Here are the translations of the French (and the one Spanish) phrases from this chapter:**

_Je m'excuse! Je suis en retard! Je m'excuse, je m'excuse!_ – I apologize! I'm late! I apologize, I apologize!

_Je sais, je sais _– I know, I know

_C'est vrai_ – That's true

_Vous êtes les agents fédéral, n'est pas?_ – You are the federal agents, right?

_Vous chantez le karaoke?_ – You sing karaoke?

_Mais vous pouvez m'appeller Guy _– But you can call me Guy

_L'écrivain de _Deep Six? _J'aime vos livres! _– The author of Deep Six? I love your books!

_Pourquoi?_ – Why?

_Parce que c'est un jour de fête! _– Because it's a holiday!

_Personellement, je préfère… _- Personally, I prefer…

_Qu'est-ce que vous faites? _– What do you do?

_Ça, ça c'était… intéressant. _Vraiment_ intéressant_ – That, that was… interesting. _Really_ interesting

_Me gusta queso! _– (Spanish) I like cheese!

**(Admittedly, I borrowed the "Me gusta queso!" line from an episode of ****Psych****)**


	12. Lead You Now

**Hello readers!**

**Well, I said this chapter would be out before or shortly after the new year, so here you go! **

**Chapter 12 is a bit of an entertaining chapter. In it, Tony realizes that Gibbs is missing and jumps to the conclusion that he quit… again. Ziva and McGee are skeptical of Tony's theory, but our lovable ladies' man is convinced that he's team leader now.**

**I wrote the original copy of the parody in 20 minutes a few weeks ago once I decided a certain overplayed (but still good) country song needed to be NCIS-ified. **

**Also, thanks so much for all the reviews! We've passed the 100 mark! Keep it up!**

**That being said, enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing except for the parody of the song. I do not own any lines from the original song that are contained in the parody. NCIS and the song I parody do not belong to me.**

**Original Song: "Need You Now" by Lady Antebellum**

**Lead You Now**

"Guys, where's Gibbs?"

This was Tony's inquiry seconds after he realized his boat-building boss was no longer seated at the table.

McGee took a look at the empty chair and shrugged. "He's probably just talking to Fornell."

The senior field agent slapped the back of the geek's head. "Use the Force, or at least your eyes, Tim McSkywalker! Our FBI buddy only has Agent Slacks to keep him company."

Ziva offered a theory. "Maybe he went home."

"He would have let us know, Zee-vah. Also, he would have finished his bourbon before leaving. Look!" Tony jabbed a finger at the floor, where the remnants of Gibbs's drink (as well as the glass it was in) had scattered.

McGee shook his head. "It fell. I heard the crash. He just…"

Tony waved off the rest of the probie's assumption. "Enough crazy talk, McGeekle. I know exactly what happened to Gibbs." He jumped out of his seat, thumping his fists on the table. "He quit! Again!"

By this time, the rest of the NCIS gang turned their attention towards the cinephile. Ducky looked skeptically at Tony and shook his head. "Anthony, Jethro would have handed in a resignation, as well as his badge and gun."

"Unless he left without saying goodbye," Jenny interrupted. She paused as the irony of her words sank in. Infuriated by the reminder of her actions in Paris, the redhead shook her fist at the sky and shrieked, "I hate karma!"

"Ducky is correct, Director," Ziva soothed her unsettled friend. "Gibbs would not do such a thing."

Tony leaned in to the point where he was practically breathing down the assassin's neck. "Have you learned nothing about our fearless leader, my crazy ninja chick?" he murmured into her ear, quickly recoiling when Ziva took a swipe at him.

With a peeved sigh, McGee blurted, "Fine, Tony. What makes you think that _your_ theory is correct?"

"That's easy – Mike Franks isn't here any more."

The others snapped to attention and stared at the chair occupied earlier by the cantina gremlin. Ziva and McGee muttered, "I thought he left after the fourth song," while Abby wailed, "Gibbs _did_ leave! He's probably already on the plane to Mexico, dreaming about his next boat!"

"I don't think he's even finished with the last one," Jenny told the Goth, before shedding a few tears of her own for the departed team leader.

Utterly befuddled by his coworkers' antics, Jimmy wondered aloud, "What in the world just happened here?" Ziva and McGee simultaneously shot a glance at the Autopsy Gremlin, affirming that they, too, had no idea what was going on.

The remaining sane members of the NCIS team looked on in confusion as Tony motioned to TJ and mouthed his request. The DJ hastily unearthed a CD and pressed Play.

The song opened with a piano solemnly playing a repetitive tune. A guitar joined in, and the instrumental continued. Finally, Abby and Jenny lamented:

_Strong and reddish bourbon splattered all across the floor_

_Wondering if he just couldn't take it any more_

Sharing a brief look of skepticism, Ziva and McGee decided to toy with Tony and joined in, joking:

_And I wonder if his job will now be mine_

The juvenile agent looked taken aback by the idea of his coworkers becoming team leader and vehemently shook his head as he sang:

_It's me, it happens all the time_

With the other two members of the MCRT staring at him as if he was delusional, Tony continued:

_It's the middle of the night_

_Gibbs is now gone_

_And I'll lead you now_

_Thought he wouldn't go, but we have no control_

_So I'll lead you now_

Uneasily considering the idea of her partner as the permanent leader, Ziva admitted:

_I am not sure how it will all work out_

Tony remarked:

_I'll just lead you now_

Jenny stared intently at the front door of the bar as the second verse began:

_Another verse of country, can't stop looking at the door_

_Wishing he'd come barging in the way he did before_

The ninja and the geek regarded the Italian playboy nervously and mumbled warily:

_And we wonder if it ever crossed Gibbs's mind_

Tony finished his coworkers' sentence in his own way before leading into the chorus again:

_That his job would soon be mine_

_It's the middle of the night_

_Gibbs is now gone_

_And I'll lead you now_

_Thought he wouldn't go, but we have no control_

_So I'll lead you now_

It was McGee's turn to express his worry:

_Yeah, I'm not sure how that'll all work out_

Exasperated, Tony shouted:

_I'll just lead you now_

A short musical interlude delayed Ziva and McGee's response:

_We would rather quit than let you be the boss_

Appalled by this betrayal, Tony dramatically belted out the chorus again:

_It's the middle of the night_

_Gibbs is now gone_

_And I'll lead you now_

_Thought he wouldn't go, but we have no control_

_So I'll lead you now_

This time, both Ziva and McGee stood up for their cause:

_We are not sure how it will all work out_

Tired of the negative reception to his plan, Tony jumped up on the table and cried:

_I'll just lead you now!_

The song began to wind down, with the would-be boss howling, _"I'll just lead you now," _a few more times. Wary applause began, but was cut off by a booming, "What the hell was _that_ all about?"

The team scrambled together and gaped at the two men walking into the bar from the door behind the counter. The silver-haired man was carrying a dishrag, a broom, and a dustpan, while the mustached man had a beer bottle glued to his hand.

"Gibbs!" the observers cried in unison, soon shifting their gaze and muttering, "Franks?"

Mike Franks waved his beer in greeting. "We were just in the back trying to find something to clean up that spilled bourbon when we heard you guys singing. Did you honestly think Probie was headin' back to Mexico with me?"

Ziva and McGee grinned smugly and shook their heads. Tony, however, rubbed the back of his head and squeaked, "Maybe?"

Gibbs landed a slap on the back of Tony's head the second the movie-quoting man ceased his nervous rubbing. The coffee-loving sniper tossed the dustpan and broom to the younger man, grumbling, "DiNozzo, brush up those glass shards before I remove you as my successor."

As Tony grudgingly got to work on his task, the other two members of Team Gibbs turned to each other mischievously and sang softly:

_He won't lead us now_

**Goofy, I know, but come on! "Need You Now" was probably one of the most played songs of 2010, so a parody was inevitable.**

**Chapter 13… I'm not really sure which parody will be next. Right now, I have a completed parody and one that's in progress, so the currently completed one is probably next. I'm still working on a few other things, so we'll see when Chapter 13 gets out. **

**Reviews would be lovely! Favorite parts? **

**AQotL**


	13. Direct the Agency

**Hello there readers!**

**It's been a while, hasn't it? My apologies for getting this out so late!**

**I didn't start this chapter until today, and I wrote it in an hour or two. Why did I wait so long, you ask? Honestly, I just haven't had the inspiration for this. I've been working on a bunch of other stories, and I wasn't in the correct mindset for this. However, I was writing something last night, and was disappointed with exactly how slapsticky it turned out. You can thank all that leftover slapstick for encouraging me to write this chapter.**

**Anyways, the topic of the chapter: Jenny fans, you're in luck! Our favorite, dearly departed lady director is the star this time around, and the victim of her angry singing is none other than Vance. I just thought it was time to explore what would happen if Jenny found out about her impending death (remember, this wacky little story takes place about mid-Season 5), and learned Vance would be replacing her. **

**This one is a little bit goofier than previous chapters (considering that we have an angry Jenny and an exasperated Gibbs–it's almost like they switched personalities), but I still invite you to give it a try.**

**I hope you enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing except for the parody of the song. I do not own any lines from the original song that are contained in the parody. NCIS and the song I parody do not belong to me.**

**Original Song: "King of Anything" by Sara Bareilles (I also suggest you give some of her other songs a listen–she's a fantastic singer)**

**Direct the Agency**

"They're planning on doing _WHAT?_"

The shrill shriek resounded throughout the bar, shattering half a dozen beer bottles and three times as many eardrums. The patrons–who had been enjoying a peaceful silence for, well, a long time–promptly dropped to the floor for cover. As a general rule, infuriated cries like this did not yield positive results. And since the source of the horrid sound was a certain redheaded NCIS director, the other customers began to fear for their lives.

"Ziva!" Jenny shouted, stomping out from a corner of the bar with her cell phone clutched in a vise-like grip. "Ziva, I need your artillery. The bigger the guns, the better. I'll even settle for a shotgun. I just need something to shoot with!"

The crazy ninja actually hesitated as she tried to process this request. Fearing the consequences of handing her friend a weapon (especially that machine gun she kept in the trunk of her car), Ziva asked in concern, "Are you alright, Director?"

"What'd you read now, Jen?" Gibbs groaned gruffly, bringing his cold bourbon glass to his forehead as a splitting headache shot across his sinuses. He couldn't continue dealing with his ex-lover's potential rampages any more. "I thought you stopped reading that spoiler website thing last month."

"They're going to kill me!" Jenny screeched, thrusting her phone (which was already displaying the web page announcing the bad news) under Gibbs's nose. "Apparently, I'm supposed to die in a shootout with some Russian assassins at a run-down diner in California. Really? They're so insistent on killing me off, and I can't even go out in style?"

The normally gruff Marine found himself reduced to a sighing, stressed-out man as Jenny ranted, and he moaned in frustration. Discreetly, he leaned over to Tony and hissed, "If you do what I'm asking you to do ever again, DiNozzo, you'll be reading spoilers for _your _untimely death." He cringed as he forced the words out of his mouth: "Headslap me. Hard."

There was a momentary pause before a loud _whack _resonated from the table.

"Oh, wow," Tony stammered, holding his shaking hand in front of his face. His look of shock soon morphed into a wicked grin. The feeling passed, for his own head suffered a blow moments later.

"Don't be getting any ideas, DiNozzo," Gibbs warned once more as he removed his hand.

While the two men had their headslap bonding time, Ziva, Abby, McGee, and even Palmer had been drawn in by Jenny's tragic news. They shared comforting words (as well as a few constricting hugs on Abby's part), and vowed to get revenge on the unseen powers-that-be who determined this fate.

"Wait," McGee finally said, breaking into the vengeance-oriented conversation. "Did they say whether or not you'll be replaced?"

Jenny, Ziva, and Abby shared a wide-eyed look before attacking the cell phone to find out.

"Wait, wait, here it is!" the Goth scientist cried, scrolling down as her friends scrunched up on either side of her. "The new director is supposed to be… oh. Oh, no."

Immediately, the redhead snapped up and glared across the room, bloodlust in her eyes. Her target felt her furious gaze and hastily shoved his hands in his hands in his pants pockets. He whistled nonchalantly, but his lips quivered and his toothpick tumbled to the ground.

"You!" Jenny shrieked, taking off across the bar and barreling towards the unfortunate Leon Vance. He tried to run, but his suddenly demonic superior caught hold of his tie and yanked him back into place.

"You… you…" the fiery director stammered again, unable to find the right words. She seethed instead, vehemently shaking her fist in Vance's face. The man looked somewhat frightened, but Jenny wasn't satisfied. She had to find another way to teach him a lesson. So, after shoving her would-be successor into a chair, she unleashed her secret weapon–she nodded to TJ.

The song started out simple enough, with a chorus of 'ohs' flowing up and down from key to key. Finally, the first verse began, and Jenny belted out angrily:

_Keep chewing toothpicks_

_Stare me down across this table_

_When you should go hide_

_So many things I'd do if only I were able_

_But I'll just stay stoic and keep my anger inside_

Ziva and Abby materialized next to their friend, and pulled out various sheets of paper from Vance's jacket pocket. They spread the papers (which consisted of a contract between Vance and those pesky powers-that-be, a few receipts, and a list titled "Things to Do When I'm Director") out on the table and let Jenny take a look. She frowned and continued:

_We've all got dreams and plans_

_We're all entitled to 'em_

_But you move too fast_

_You just need to take your time_

_And try not to waste anymore of mine_

_Since so much has passed_

It was time to drop the bomb on the aspiring director. Jenny stood up straight and admitted with a smug smile:

_I hate to break it to you, Leon_

_I'm not dying_

Ziva joined in, shooing Vance away with:

_You do not need to be here_

At this point, the redheaded director strutted over to the stage and burst out:

_Who cares what your plans may be_

_You are not me_

_You can't direct the agency_

_Why are you in D.C.? _

_No one's died, you can't direct the agency_

Vance was starting to sweat now, and he glanced nervously at the other NCIS-affiliated bar patrons. Jenny was glad to see her rival start to crack under the pressure, but she wasn't quite finished with him yet. She stalked back over and leaned in as she barked:

_Defend your 'innocence'_

_Your so-called good intent_

_You'll deny the rest_

_Just don't expect me to_

_Give up my place to you_

_And get shot before the Los Angeles sunset_

She jabbed a finger in Vance's face as she reminded him of the agency's ranking system:

_You will not be the boss_

_I'm still director, oh_

_But you'll never see_

At that, Jenny lifted one of the receipts Abby and Ziva found in Vance's pocket. Squinting at it, she saw that it was from a company that designed personalized door plaques. The traitorous assistant director ordered one with his name and "NCIS Director" engraved on it. The still-alive director threw it down and blurted:

_You're too busy buying plaques_

_With your name on them in all caps_

_You've got the plotting down_

_Just not the listening_

Abby and Ziva rallied with their friend as the chorus came around again:

_Who cares what your plans may be_

_You are not me_

_You can't direct the agency_

_Why are you in D.C.?_

_No one's died, you can't direct the agency_

Vance gaped as the three women circled him like vultures, and took the next part of the song to appease his unsettled superior:

_All my life_

_I've tried_

_Not to seize that prized position so I'll_

_Just wait and hide_

_Until somebody tells me my job's been_

_Modified _

The three women regrouped to consider Vance's promise to back off until told otherwise. They found it sufficient, but wanted to warn him once more:

_Who cares what your plans may be_

_You are not me_

_You can't direct the agency_

_Why are you in D.C.?_

_No one's died, you can't direct the agency_

Exhausted and embarrassed, Vance sank in his seat. Jenny couldn't resist toying with him one more time, and–waving his receipt for the custom-made plaque–called:

_Let me hold your plaque, babe_

"Wow," Tony, McGee, and Palmer muttered in unison as the females returned to the table. Gibbs heaved a sigh and lowered his forehead to the shiny wood top. Finally, his ex-lover's problems were taken care of. Well, at least until next month. What would be the next spoiler to send her into a panic–Ziva's potential capture by terrorists in Africa? He snorted at the absurdity. Like _that _would ever happen.

"Hey, Director Shepard, is Vance still going to be your successor after all of this?" Tony asked, pulling Gibbs back into the conversation. "Because, honestly, I think I'm more qualified. After all, can Vance claim that he's headslapped Gibbs?"

The aforementioned headslap target returned the favor to his senior field agent. "If you thought about the consequences, DiNozzo, you wouldn't claim that either."

**Well, there you have it. It's been months since I last posted, and yet this one didn't really even take me that long to write. Figures.**

**We'll have to see when Chapter 14 is released. Sadly, I think we're nearing the end with this story. My inspiration just kind of left me. However, I still need to finish at least two more parodies and the epilogue, so we still have some time!**

**Reviews would be lovely! Favorite parts?**

**AQotL**


	14. Look at Me, I'm Tim McGee

**A/N: **Umm… hey there. Anyone remember me or this story? I definitely understand if you don't—it's been almost seven months since I last updated. Trust me, I have plenty of reasonable excuses, but we'd be here all day if I mentioned them all. (Most of them, though, fall under the categories of "Real Life Got in the Way" and "All My Inspiration Transferred Over to A Completely Different Story")

Anyways, a mild case "Songs Like This"-itis hit me recently, and I resumed work on Chapter 14. I still don't have my full inspiration back after such a long time away from anything NCIS-related, but I hope this chapter will at least entertain you.

The parody for this chapter actually goes back to a time before "Songs Like This" was even on this website—I thought of the first few lines before I even decided to create a story of parodies. There are also a few other throwbacks in this chapter, mainly dealing with Chapter 5 ("Crime-Solving Writer"). Those of you who've been reading for a while now have a pretty good idea what I'm talking about…

Thanks so much for all the reviews (which I sincerely apologize for not replying to last time—Chapter 13 was published right before life got really hectic)/alerts/favorites and sticking with me through this crazy update schedule. I truly appreciate it.

That being said, here we go!

**Original Song: **"Look at Me, I'm Sandra Dee" from the musical _Grease_

**Look at Me, I'm Tim McGee**

"It's been a while since anything _Deep Six_-related was published."

"I know. That's why I'm going to type up this story as soon as I get home and post it right away."

Ivy's shoulders slumped and she narrowed her eyes in annoyance at her friend. Carina was lost in her own little world, vigorously bobbing her head back and forth to some song inside her head as she scribbled on a pad of paper.

"I'm not talking about your fanfiction," the redhead hissed, lightly smacking the aspiring writer upside the head (since they were talking about _Deep Six_, Ivy thought it was fitting to knock some sense into her friend L.J. Tibbs-style). "I'm talking about the series itself. The last book Thom published was _Rock Hollow_. You've probably memorized the entire book by now—_that's_ how long it's been."

"Actually, I just memorized the dialogue. And all of the Tisa and McAmy scenes. Not the entire book."

"Whatever!" Ivy threw her hands in the air. "All I'm trying to say is it's been too long since the last story, and I want to know why!"

Carina actually looked up from her writing, peering over her glasses to shoot Ivy a serious look. "Gemcity has a bunch of other things to do besides write. He's a federal agent, remember?" Content, she turned back to her paper and sang softly, "_He really is a crime-solving writer—crime-solving writer!_"

A growl reverberated in the temperamental redhead's throat, and she pounded her fists on the table as she stood up. "Fine. Enjoy writing your little _Deep Six_ knockoff. I'll be asking my future husband why it's taking so long to publish the real thing." At that, she slid out from behind the table and stalked off.

There was a slight pause once Ivy went to search for her prey, but soon Carina murmured excitedly, "Ooh, plot twist! McGregor unexpectedly acquires a flirtatious fan, throwing a wrench into his budding relationship with Amy…"

. . .

"Wuh-oh… head's up, McGee—something fangirl this way comes."

At Tony's warning, the computer nerd looked up, only to hastily duck his head and pray that the crazy-eyed woman didn't see him. Sadly, Ivy's "Gemcity radar" immediately went off when McGee looked her direction, and she made a beeline for Team Gibbs's table.

"Thom," she purred, sidling up next to him (despite Abby's dagger-like glare) and placing her elbows on the table. "Hey. My friend Carina and I were just wondering when the next _Deep Six_ book would be coming out."

Any words that were in McGee's mouth promptly choked off, for Gibbs roughly set down his bourbon and boomed, "You were going to write _another one_?"

"Ah, well," McGee managed to sputter, "I've been a little busy, and it's been a while since I've given much thought to that series." He then said loudly, "_I never really had any plans to continue_." He stared at Gibbs out of the corner of his eye, relaxing when his boss nodded slowly and took another sip of his drink.

"Oh?" Ivy asked, feigning surprise to hide her disappointment. However, she quickly dealt with that by revving up her flirting. "See, that's exactly what _I_ told _Carina_. I told her, 'No, Thom's too busy being a federal agent and solving crimes to write another book. Plus, he has other hobbies—collecting classic cars, maybe, or perhaps skydiving.' Ooh, Thom, do you like skydiving?"

Throughout the whole exchange, Tony had been sitting back quietly, struggling to hold in his guffaws. Before his eyes could start watering any more than they already were, he carefully unclamped his jaw and raised his hand. "If I may interrupt," he started, failing to force back a laugh, "but I believe I need to provide a few facts to fill in the gaps in your Gemcitypedia." He let out another snicker before he continued, "First off: this," (he grabbed McGee's shoulders and gently shook him) "is Tim McGee. Thom E. Gemcity is a penname, an anagram. Scramble up all the letters and you get Timothy Freakin' McGee."

"Well, I can understand how you get 'Timothy McGee' from 'Thom E. Gemcity', but I'm still confused on how you can get 'Timothy _Freakin'_ McGee'," Carina, who finally wandered over to the NCIS team's table, murmured airily. "That's a strange middle name, by the way."

(There was a loud chorus of smacks as hands rushed to meet foreheads.)

"But… but…" Ivy stammered, her hand sliding off her forehead as she comprehended Tony's revelation.

The movie buff cut her off. "Second of all… oh, wow, where do I start? Classic cars… _skydiving?_" He burst into another raucous laughing fit. "You obviously know nothing about our Timmy here. I can change that." At that, he leapt out of his seat and shot towards the stage. After rifling through the collection of CDs, he selected one and handed it to TJ in exchange for the microphone before taking his place on the stage.

A peppy little tune sounded through the speakers, and Tony widened his eyes comically as he started:

_Look at me, I'm Tim McGee_

_Or, sometimes, Thom Gemcity_

He grabbed Carina's copy of _Rock Hollow_ and glanced nervously at all the women in the room before adding:

_Won't date some chicks 'til I'm done with _Deep Six

_I can't! I'm Tim McGee…_

The song's subject narrowed his eyes and took a swipe at his joking coworker, who cried:

_Watch it! _

_And those McNicknames…_

_Just another claim to fame_

_I'm never bored_

_When they call me Elf Lord_

_I love computer ga-a-a-ames!_

_I'm a geek (oh!)_

_A nerd (oh!)_

McGee butted in, pointing a finger at Tony and growling maliciously:

_Say on more word…_

Tony jumped on top of a barstool and clung to it for dear life as he whimpered:

_I get ill when I'm up really high (aaaahhh!)_

Sliding down from his perch, he crossed his arms and tried to imitate McGee as he said:

"_Tony, I know that you poured_

_Glue on my keyboard."_

"_It's called fiction! Must I clarify?"_

Tony strolled over to the resident Goth scientist as he crooned:

_As for me, I love Abby_

_I know that I'm her Timmy_

_She makes me blush and I turn into mush_

'_Cause I'm plain Tim McGee_

Looking from Ivy to Carina, he promptly jumped back and started flailing his arms hysterically, shrieking:

_Fangirls! Fangirls! Let me be!_

_I must go hurl peacefully!_

McGee finally had enough of Tony's playful mockery. Standing up and marching over to his unruly friend, he gritted his teeth and sang:

_Keep up this shtick, and it's you who'll get sick... _

Tony's eyes went wide at the geek's sudden confidence and admitted defeat.

Plastering a smug smile on his face, McGee grabbed the microphone and admitted proudly to his flabbergasted fangirls:

_Yes, that's right_

I'm_ Tim McGee_

The music continued for a few seconds longer, slowly fading out. But there was one woman who didn't notice the lack of music as she stared straight ahead, eyes bugged out and mouth gaping.

"But… but… wha'?" Ivy stammered incoherently as she gradually regained control of her jaw. "You… your name really isn't Thom E. Gemcity?"

"I think that was established before this song even started," Carina reminded her friend, before singing, "_He's Tim Freaking McGee…_"

The subject of the fangirls' conversation shrugged. "It's just like Tony said. He just could have explained it in a more polite way." He shot an evil glare at his juvenile coworker before holding out his hand to the girls in introduction. "Timothy McGee, NCIS Special Agent, part-time writer, and computer whiz. Call me Tim."

Ivy stared at his hand like it had an extra finger. Carina, on the other hand, shook it eagerly, chirping, "Nice to officially meet you, Tim! So, you have a fear of heights, too? I get woozy even thinking about being in a plane…"

The horrified bug-eyed look returned as Ivy stared at her friend and her (former) famous crush chatting casually, a sight she was certain was a hallucination. Unfortunately, it wasn't. Moving as discreetly as she could, Ivy bolted out of her chair and slunk off.

Her hasty departure did not go unnoticed. As she carried on her conversation with McGee, Carina thought gleefully to herself, _Success! The threat of the unwanted love interest no longer plagues the McAmy relationship! Ooh, this is going to make such a great fanfic…!_

**A/N 2: **And this concludes Chapter 14. I'm truly sorry for the long wait.

I already have Chapter 15 in progress, but I'm still trying to work on getting my full inspiration back. I can't give an ETA on that chapter yet, but I can share some good news: like I said last chapter, I'm planning to wrap up this story soon. In my original plan, Chapter 15 was going to be the last parody chapter, and then there would be an epilogue. That's changed slightly: Chapter 15 will still be the last official parody chapter, but Chapter 16 will be a giant medley. There were a bunch of parodies that I desperately wanted to write, but I couldn't get past the first few lines or so. With this medley chapter, you'll be able to see those parody clips. Because of this addition, the epilogue will be Chapter 17.

So, this story will go on for a little while longer. Hopefully everything will be wrapped up before the second anniversary of the original publishing date (since I missed the first anniversary…).

Let me know what you think!

Until next time,

AQotL


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